What Perpelexes Me Is This

Rumi_5CupsToday’s card was a challenge for me because I wasn’t sure I wanted to deal with the subject. Sometimes I have a thought in my head so I draw a card for that thought. Other times I wake up “tabula rasa”. This morning was definitely a blank slate morning. ๐Ÿ˜€

So here is the card I drew from the Rumi Tarot. The Five of Cups with the sad and isolated figure. His head is down. His hands are open but he’s not looking for anyone to give him anything. He seems to have lost hope. Or maybe he’s just lost his emotional way.

The quote is “Perplexity in the heart is like war.” I had to look up the rest of the piece so I could understand why this phrase was put with this card. Traditionally the 5 of Cups means being over-focused on lost connections while not seeing the ones you still have.

โ€œThe perplexity in the heart is like war:
when a man is perplexed he says,
โ€œI wonder whether this is better for my situation, or that.โ€
In perplexity the fear of failure and the hope of success
always are in conflict with each other, advancing, retreating.โ€ โ€”Rumi

Okay. That works for this card quite well. Seeming to be stuck at the point of an emotional decision. Stay or go.

For me, that is something I can honestly say I run into a lot in my joy seeking. I get into situations that are so aggravating, so crazy-making, so ARRRGH that I just want to stay there until they are FIXED, DAMMIT.

Um, Arwen? Maybe the thing that is keeping them aggravating and crazy-making and ARRRGH is you? I mean…if you are the one common denominator?

Ouch.

But yes, a key tool in joy seeking is owning my shit. I must be responsible for my actions. I cannot blame D for hurting me if I know that is D’s way. I cannot blame S for not paying me back if I know that’s S’s way.

It’s like blaming the wasp for stinging me. It’s what it does.

So my take away for myself is this.

How much I contribute to those unjoyful moments is in direct correlation to the perplexity of my heart.

Clarity comes when I own my own shit. Because then the only person to celebrate with or blame is the person I see in the mirror. I need to allow and understand that not all are joy seekers and not all are shit stirrers. Many of us are a mix of both, right? I try to limit my shit stirring (grin) but I also MUST own it when I do it.

Your 180 second challenge today is to focus on a situation/person that is really chapping your ass. Find three ways you are adding to that situation. Find three ways you can change how you add to that situation (up to and including removing yourself from that situation, yes?!)

5 of Cups, Rumi Tarot, Llewellyn, 2009 [aff]

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

P. to the S. Here’s a course that really opened up my own creativity. I never thought I could create art before! It starts 8/1. Come take it with me [aff]! Yes, I’m doing a refresher/reawakener. ๐Ÿ˜€

Why Did I Do That?

DreamRaven_2Cups001Today’s card reminds me that I need to be actively engaged in my own emotional choices. I must remember that what I feel is my own responsibility. I cannot allow my emotional choices to be made by others.

I mean that I cannot say, “Oh I did that horrible thing because I was mad at so-and-so.”

I mean that I cannot say, “I was speeding because X told me I had to hurry.”

I can say, “I was hurting when I did that horrible thing” or “I was speeding because I thought it was urgent that I get there.”

By taking the “other” out of my actions, I own what I do. I was thinking about this on my morning walk with the dogs. I released one emotional burden yesterday. It hurt, y’all. It hurt to release it. Doesn’t feel much better today to be honest.

But? I know it was the right thing for me. I hope it was the right thing for the other person.

I had to make an emotional choice where I put myself first. I had to be reminded by someone who loves me that I was trying to put blame where it didn’t belong once I’d done that releasing.

My reaction to that reminder was…poor, to say the least. ๐Ÿ˜€ I reread what they said this morning and got more of what they meant. But last night? HOOO BOY! I did not want to hear what they said. AT ALL.

So what about you? Do you have any impending emotional choices? See if you can make them from your heart-centered, self-focused place. See if you can not say, “If X hadn’t done X, I wouldn’t have to do this.”

As my dear One pointed out, it’s in the scorpion’s nature.

Two of Cups, Dream Raven Tarot (Beth Seilonen), Schiffer, 2013 (aff)

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on!

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Oh, Get Filled!

Housewives_1CupsToday’s card reminds me that too often I look for others to fill me up. I forget that the best judge of what I need is usually me.

I say usually because there are times when certain people can ask me if I’ve lost my damned mine or if I just think career suicide is the way to go.

That’s generally right after I’ve told them how I plan to tell someone off at work. ๐Ÿ˜

Yeah, not a good thing.

Luckily where I work now is, for the most part, a great place. Like all jobs, it has those things (and people) I’d rather not have to deal with.

But let’s get back to that cup.

Is it completely empty or is it ready to be filled up?

For me, the Ace of Cups is a sign that my client is ready for emotional fulfillment. Someone is waiting for them to give them the signal.

How often have you needed a refill at a restaurant? Wasn’t it just natural to hold your glass up so someone would recognize your need?

How hard is it to hold your metaphorical glass up? How hard is it to know that glass will be filled?

More…how hard is it not to fill that cup with bitter wine (whine works too) dwelling on what you don’t have and what you can’t get and what isn’t falling into place.

Imagine the Universe is standing by with a pitcher of joy.

A full cup can’t be filled.

Don’t fill your cup with bitterness and negativity.

Stay open to the idea that joy is not just coming.

It’s here.

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

Ace of Cups, Housewives Tarot, Quirk 2004 [aff]

Finding Nemo Finds Arwen

eight-waterToday’s card reminds me of “Finding Nemo.” Well, not Nemo per se but one of the characters in that movie. I know it may not make sense but hang in there. I can explain.

I will refrain from misquoting “Princess Bride” now since mixing movies is only second worst to mixing metaphors.

Still with me? Good! This is the Eight of Water from the soon-to-be-out-of-print Gaian Tarot. It is the Eight of Cups in many decks. Although Powell turns a distinctly non-traditional eye on many cards, here she is true to the meaning.

Leaving things behind.

And, of course, the character I see here is Dory. I see this card and I tell my client that they have started the hard work. Now they must just keep swimming.

Stop for a moment.

What do you identify as “the hard work” in your current energy pattern? What are you actively trying to move away from?

  • Overeating?
  • Smoking?
  • Negative thought patterns?
  • Paisley?

What ever it is, this card is a reminder that you should keep swimming. Don’t look back. The further out you go, the further you are from that shore. The shore represents that “not so good for you” behaviour or, sadly, person or place.

Now that you’ve refocused on that “hard work”, I want you to give yourself a pat on the back.

Now, get wet.

You know why.

You’ve got to keep swimming, swimming. Just keep swimming.

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

Eight of Water, Gaian Tarot Limited Edition, Joanna Powell Colbert

Are Happies Expandable?

HealingTarot_10CupsToday’s card is from another brand new deck from Schiffer. This time it’s the Healing Tarot by Juno Lucina and Monica Knighton. I’m a huge fan of Monica’s work. She happens to be here in Austin so I’ve had the distinct pleasure of meeting her once at an event (and snatching up some of her wearable art!)

I’m really torn on how I feel about this deck. On the one hand, it’s black and white which I love. On the other hand the images seem to be lacking something.

However, as I study this card more, I find that what is lacking is me. It’s not that there is no color. It’s that I am not filling in the color in my head. Once I start doing that, this card comes to life.

I love the small things on this card. There are three mushrooms (which I think might be the poisonous angel’s cap). Those remind me that a loving relationship has bumps. It has things that need to be negotiated and navigated.

There is so much to adore in this card. The children at play. The loving parents watching. And it looks as if those parents are discussing expanding something to me. That’s the energy of the 10 of Cups here. Expanding happiness. Letting it spill out and grow.

So my challenge to you today is to take three minutes to examine your current happies. Where can you expand them? Where can you allow them to spill out so they can grow even more?

Three minutes is only 180 seconds. Can you commit to that? Let me know in the comments (and let me know where you are expanding!) I love hearing from you.

For me, the first thing that comes to mind is my tangling work. I know it makes me happy. And, grin, I know where I want to expand it. We shall see if that works.

The more I look at this deck, the more I love it. Just so much to see in each card. Lovely.

Seek joy, y’all. Expand your happiness. Pass it on.

10 of Cups, The Healing Tarot, Schiffer Books, 2013 [AFF]

Processing The Hard Stuff: A Reading for T

aceofwaterToday’s card is not a card. It’s a reading. I shared this spread about a week or so ago. I asked folks to let me know if they wanted to be in the drawing. Then I drew a name. Even though she said I could use her full name, I’m going to keep it to T. She can reveal in the comments if she likes.

————————————————————
Processing The Hard Stuff, a reading for T.

1. What is this stuff really about?

The 7 of Air comes up. This card shows a person studying a map. They are VERY concerned with how to get where they think they should be. The trick here is—if they would put the map down, they would see they are much closer than they thought.

The hard stuff T is going through right now is simply the process of understanding it is where she’s meant to be. No studying of the map could have helped her miss this hard stuff because she has to go through it to see where she is.

That sounds convoluted. I will tell you all a secret. T happens to be a dear friend who just went through a truly hellish year (and a half?) full of loss. I think this card is simply telling her to stop trying to figure out why and just move through it as gracefully as possible.

2. What makes it so hard?

How intriguing! Another seven comes up. This time it’s the 7 of Fire which is a woman at a forge. She is hammering out a piece of steel. This card always makes me think of the Goddess Brighid who was something of a multi-tasker.

This card makes me think T is trying to do too much at once. I think she needs to take it one hard piece at a time. You know that old saw about how you eat an elephant?

One bite at a time.

3. What am I doing that is making it harder?

In retrospection, I find that I don’t like this question because it seems to blame the querent. I don’t like that, do you? But the card I get is one that makes sense.

It’s the card of listening to old tapes and not getting rid of old emotional responses. It is the 8 of Water in which a woman is swimming away.

The key for T here is that she can’t swim fully away as long as she keeps holding on to those things that are serving her. And that can be her own feelings of how she SHOULD feel compared to how she does feel. Honor your feelings, my darling. Honor them and not what others say you should or shouldn’t be feeling.

4. What can I do to make it easier?

Oh lovely. The Guardian of Fire shows up to remind T that she must feed her own passion but that she can lean on others around her. She has to remember that fires need to be fed or they will go out. So you can see this in two ways.

One, she needs to stop feeding the wrong fire.
Two, she needs to rekindle her own passion for life.

I would ask her what personal light has gone out that she needs to turn back on.

5.ย  How can I best support myself while I process this?

*THUD* The card that turns up here is Death. Knowing what I know of her hellish year I wanted to throw this one back to the bottom of the pile. I resisted–barely.

Change is what this card is about but it is also about Death. Understanding Death and what the loss of a loved one means is something my beautiful T has had far too much of. But I think the support here is from actual support groups for those dealing with the loss of a loved one. T, honey, have you reached out to any grief groups? That’s the first thing I thought when I saw this card.

6. Who can I turn to for support while Iโ€™m processing this?

The Four of COins is that person who helps you budget yourself in terms of not just money but how much you give of yourself to others. They are your rock, your foundation and your kick in the a** when you try to do too much. They watch over you like a squirrel guards its nuts. Their primary role right now is to make sure that you take care of yourself while you process all of this hard stuff.

7. What will be the benefits of processing it?

What a joyful answer you get, T. It’s the Ace of Water. This shows a salmon fingerling who has yet to leave the safety of where she hatched. In order to grow, she’s going to have to swim out but it’s so scary. The good news is that you are in the middle of your scary stuff right now. Processing all that has happened (good and bad, darling) has given you the knowledge that you really can survive anything. Good things come to those who swim out into the deep water of their own emotions. Growth, baby, growth.

————————————————————

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

Ace of Water, Gaian Tarot

Water, Devils and Demons

Herbal_DevilToday’s card always makes me ask, “Who made me do it?” See, I don’t believe in the Devil as a Christian construct of behaviour correction. I do believe in evil as a motivation for action though. Confused? It’s okay. I can be convoluted. It’s one of my many charms. GRIN!

Thoreau (1817-1862) asked, “What demon possessed me that I behaved so well?”

Wouldn’t that have been a better attitude than “The Devil made me do it” as an excuse? Both use a similar perception though that I just can’t get behind.

See, I have this nagging idea that I am responsible for myself. That I, as a grown-assed woman, have to say:

I did that because I was tired and out of sorts. I let my emotions get away from me.

I did that because I was afraid. I let my lizard brain take over.

You know…basic self-responsibility statements. Annoying, right?

I’ve had a lot of discussion with myself that start with, “Well if X hadn’t made me angry” that end with me having to admit that X didn’t make me angry. I allowed myself to become angry. Iโ€™m not saying that anger isn’t a valid emotion or response. What I’m saying is that I have control of my emotions. I am, as I pointed out, a grown-assed woman.

  • No one made me eat that piece of cake.

    No one made me angry.

    No one made me cry.

    No one made me happy.

    NO one made me do anything.

  • Unless I’m puppet in which case can someone please show me where the strings are and who might be attached to them?

    Yeah, that’s what I thought too. No puppet master.

    I won’t buy “Devil made me do bad” any more than I buy “demon made me do good.” I get to own both of those things. My actions are controlled by me.

    I won’t ask you to commit to 180 seconds today for this concept. Instead, I’ll ask that you take that three minutes to do something completely off-topic. I’m asking you to turn off the water while you wash your hands.

    Crazy, right? Doesn’t even compute as belonging to this topic. I know, but it is very important to me.

    Water is precious. Here in Texas we are facing another drought. If you wet your hands, then turn off the water, you can then soap your hands for however long without wasting the water. Same for brushing your teeth. Per The Daily Green, you can also save up to 8 gallons of water a day simply by turning off the tap while you brush your teeth in the morning and at night.

    Check out these 100 ways to conserve water.

    So, today’s post was about devils, demons and water. I take full responsibility for the juxtaposition. Maybe the devil made the drought?

    Devil, Herbal Tarot, U.S. Games

    Splashing, Waves & Ellipses

    I think I’ll adopt this as today’s theme. I’m going to make some waves. I’m going to go against the flow of negative thought and speech. I’m going to focus on making joy waves today.

    Today’s card is from a brand new deck geared towards young beginning Tarot readers. It’s charming. The court cards are renamed Shaman, Mage, Sage and Paige. That’s not my misspelling on that last one but because this is a children’s deck, I don’t know if that is a nod to a Paige in the artist or author’s family. I’ve sent a note off to the publisher to ask…I’ll update when I hear back.

    The message of this card (randomly drawn) makes me smile. It’s such an empowering thing to be told you can make waves. Have you ever been in a situation where you were told not to make waves? Maybe literally at a pool where you got fussed at for jumping and playing and splashing?

    And someone told you to stop? I have. And it sucks. I mean let’s face it. I’m a water child (Pisces) so splashing and causing water to fly is one of my most fun activities. ๐Ÿ˜€

    This card with its simple purple and green coloring makes me smile. Making waves with her face so intense, our Water Sage looks like she is about to do an interpretive dance…errr…swim. She’s all dolled up including a comb of seaweed. Nothing and no one is going to stop her.

    I think I’ll adopt this as today’s theme. I’m going to make some waves. I’m going to go against the flow of negative thought and speech. I’m going to focus on making joy waves today.

    One thing I’m personally doing is focusing on sharing good things on my Facebook as much as possible. There’s just so much unhappiness in this world. I saw the funniest picture today and was going to share it, but the group name it was originally from was “I hate fucking cats.”

    Ouch.

    Maybe they meant to make it funny but it’s harsh and it’s mean-spirited. Like that awful site People of Wal-Mart. I loathe that site. It mocks others who are seen as “less than” by those who post and comment. I have looked at it one time and that five minutes was more than enough. Is the sight of a large woman in tight pants funny? I guess it is to some, but I’m going to choose to find other things to laugh at.

    I know…how judgmental of me. I’ll have to live with that, but I will not worry about it…too much.

    I’d rather worry about my rather…unnatural…love of the…ellipse.

    HA!

    Y’all make some waves today. Keep it positive. Keep it upbeat. Work on you. I’ll just hold on to this thought from Rob Brezny’s “Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.” Another favorite book of mine…and don’t miss yesterday’s contest! You have a few more days to comment to win.

    “The revolution begins at home. If you overthrow yourself again and again, you might earn the right to help overthrow the rest of us.”

    Water Sage, Elemental Tarot For Kids, Schiffer 2012

    Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with BlessingsTHOSE books. Recommended.

    Psychics, Shoulders & Fears

    Today’s card is a question for you to answer. How psychic are your friends? Not how psychic are you, but how psychic are they? Do they know your every thought? Can they read your mind? Do they know when you need a hug or a helping hand?

    What? Only a few and not all the time? No way! Get out of town.

    SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, Y’ALL!

    You mean to tell me that when you are lonely or sad or scared, your friends don’t pick up the phone or come right over unless you tell them? What kind of friends are they? I mean, really. Right?

    Um.

    Now turn that around. Are you that psychic? Do you know when they need you?

    What? They have to let you know? You sometimes know but it’s better when they just say, “Hey, I really need a friend right now”?

    No way! Get out of town.

    SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, Y’ALL!

    Soooooo, I think maybe you are seeing the point by now, yes?

    If you are sad or scared or lonely, tell your friends. Let them know. Maybe the first three will be too busy or have their own shit to deal with, but check out number four or five. You will get that shoulder or ear that you need. I promise.

    And you will be that shoulder or ear they need. I promise that too.

    The Universe is whispering in my ear. Tell them, Arwen. Tell them I am here for them. Tell them I dwell in them, in their friends, in every living thing. I am here for them.

    Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

    Five of Water, Gaian Tarot, Llewellyn 2011

    Water, Emotions & Self

    Today’s card is not a Tarot card. It’s from an oracle deck that’s now out of print. Each card features photos from Dr. Masaru Emoto. He did work with water where he tested to see if they are affected by thoughts and words.

    And you know what?

    They are. They changed shape and color based on what they heard/felt.

    You know what else?

    Humans are mostly water.

    Now then. What are you doing to your beautiful crystalline self?

    Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

    Emotions, The Water Crystal Oracle, Council Oak Books, 2004