Twos Archives < Arwen, Professional Joy Seeker

Who Defines Me?

Today’s card is from one of my primary reading decks. I’m a bit of a serial Tarotist, you see. I get hooked into one deck for a long time, but then move on.

This deck is one I bought because I’d met the creator online. Can’t tell you where or how. I don’t remember. I’ve slept since then. 😀 But I never thought I’d read with this deck.

It was a CARTOON deck, after all. SNIFF. SNIFF.

Yeah. About that? This is a ddeck taht immediately worked for me. On all levels. It is one of the first decks that taught me suits can be called different things. I learned how to loosen up as a reader.

How you see me does not define me.

I woke up with that phrase in my mind. Then I pulled this card. I knew I was going to work with this deck this morning. I just didn’t know which card would come to hand.

Our Two of Blades is ready. She is can go into a offensive mode if necessary, but for this moment, she’s solidly in a waiting, defensive mode. She is blindfolded because she’s learned what she sees can distract her.

Think about your “Internet-only” friendships. Those people you’ve never met face-to-face. The ones so many claim “can’t be real friends because you’ve never met them.”

We meet one another in this medium without some distractions. Is that a good thing? Is that a bad thing?

Perhaps, my darlings, it’s just a thing. What we do with it is what counts.

For me, I’m more cautious now than I was when I first began my electronic journey. I still have friends from my first BBB. Grex.org for those who are curious. LOL

I do my best to be real, to be authentic, to be who I am in all my worlds–online, offline and dreamtime. That means sometimes I’m cranky. Sometimes I’m mean. Sometimes I’m emotional. It’s who I am.

Some see me as a one-note joy seeker and that’s okay.

How you see me does not define me.

Some see me as an egomaniacal bitch and that’s okay.

How you see me does not define me.

Hold on to that for yourself. You define you. Your opinion is the one that counts in this.

Two of Blades, Adventure Tarot, U.S. Games (OOP) (aff)

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

Why Did I Do That?

Today’s card reminds me that I need to be actively engaged in my own emotional choices. I must remember that what I feel is my own responsibility. I cannot allow my emotional choices to be made by others.

I mean that I cannot say, “Oh I did that horrible thing because I was mad at so-and-so.”

I mean that I cannot say, “I was speeding because X told me I had to hurry.”

I can say, “I was hurting when I did that horrible thing” or “I was speeding because I thought it was urgent that I get there.”

By taking the “other” out of my actions, I own what I do. I was thinking about this on my morning walk with the dogs. I released one emotional burden yesterday. It hurt, y’all. It hurt to release it. Doesn’t feel much better today to be honest.

But? I know it was the right thing for me. I hope it was the right thing for the other person.

I had to make an emotional choice where I put myself first. I had to be reminded by someone who loves me that I was trying to put blame where it didn’t belong once I’d done that releasing.

My reaction to that reminder was…poor, to say the least. 😀 I reread what they said this morning and got more of what they meant. But last night? HOOO BOY! I did not want to hear what they said. AT ALL.

So what about you? Do you have any impending emotional choices? See if you can make them from your heart-centered, self-focused place. See if you can not say, “If X hadn’t done X, I wouldn’t have to do this.”

As my dear One pointed out, it’s in the scorpion’s nature.

Two of Cups, Dream Raven Tarot (Beth Seilonen), Schiffer, 2013 (aff)

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on!

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Balancing Prosperity With Budgets

Today’s card is from a really pretty new deck. I’m fast falling in love with it. In a strange way, it reminds me of Dana Driscoll’s Tarot of Trees. I can’t really place my finger on exactly WHY it does but it has something to do with the intensity of the colors, I think.

Here we have the Two of Pentacles. Traditionally a card of choices, I see this raven as something of a trickster. There is a connection between the twos and the Major Arcana II the Magician so maybe that is why. Of course, the Raven CAN be a trickster in many beliefs.

Still, here it looks as if he is pulling coins out of thin air. It can certainly feel that way when we are making money choices, can’t it? As if we don’t have enough and will never have enough?

I think this card is a reminder to me to think abundantly while living carefully. I have a lot of good things going on right now so I am able to afford things I couldn’t in my 20’s. But that doesn’t mean I need to buy the whole horse when I all I want to do is ride one hour a week. 😀

How do you balance your abundant living thinking with your carefully budget life? Do you think one negates the other?

I don’t. I think carefully budgeting myself while calling in prosperity is my “Yes, okay” to the Universe. I’m making a promise not to squander the abundance. I’m making a choice to be careful with my wealth.

And? I don’t see wealth as money alone. Pentacles are the suit of community and earth as well as money. So my friends and family and pets are all covered in this abundant life.

Today I accept that I live in abundance. I acknowledge my right to a prosperous life. I embrace the wholeness of my wealthy, healthy self.

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

Two of Pentacles, Dream Raven Tarot, Schiffer Books, 2013

Storm Coming? Passing?

Today’s card reminds me of something I heard today. The quote was by a man named John O’Donohue who died in 2008. He said

“The normal way never leads home.”

I learned two things when I heard that. The first was that I needed to get his work. The second was that I had no definition of what home might mean in that quote.

Living in Austin, I can certainly identify with the idea of not being normal. I’ve decided that if I ever do leave this mecca of weird, I will go to another mecca of diversity and unusual. I need to be where the norm is to be uniquely myself.

I am not like you. You are not like me. Like everyone else, we are unique. Isn’t that an amazing concept? Consider it for just a minute. No one on earth is just like you. No one has your life experiences or your truths or sorrows or joys.

Many of us have similar. Many of us have shared in the same experience. But how many of us have come away from those shared experiences with different outlooks?

When I went ocean kayaking with my best friend, we fell in. Whether we fell in courtesy of me or her is a matter of opinion. I’m willing to believe her when she says I tumped us in. I saw a WHALE. (Tumping is what I was taught you do when you turn a boat over. 😀 )

So my experience of being in the water THISCLOSE to a humpback was thrilling as well as humorous. But what was Cai’s experience? I know that when I was pointing out how close the whale was, she somewhat tartly pointed out that I should be getting back in the kayak so she could too.

It may have been April and it may have been slightly brisk in the water that day.

But our experiences were not the same. Neither of us was angry at the other. Far from it! We laughed our butts off. But I think you would hear two different stories from that day that we went swimming quite unexpectedly with whales.

The Two of Pentacles from Aly Fell and Barbara Moore’s fantastic Steampunk Tarot shows a woman on an old-fashioned bicycle. There is a neon lemniscate acting as the chain. She appears to be riding on water or clouds. The sky above her shows a storm breaking. Or is it gathering? Is she finally leaving shelter to head on her way? Is she hurrying for shelter before the storm hits?

Your personal story will lend flavor to this card and every card in a spread. As a reader, you must acknowledge that. Some of it will need to be put aside if you are reading for another, but if you are reading for yourself, understanding how your own mood can blend into the cards is key.

So, when you look at this card, given your current mood and understanding of where you are, is she fleeing the storm or has the storm passed?

Here’s some of John O’Donohue’s work [aff].

Two of Pentacles, Steampunk Tarot, 2012 [aff]

Who’s Telling The Truth?

Today’s card reminds me that there are two sides (at least) to every tale. In fact, I would propose that there are three. Mine, yours and the truth.

Now I’m not saying that you or I are lying. I’m not saying that at all. It’s more that we each bring our own truth to story telling. What I see and interpret is influenced, guided, filtered by my life experiences. Same for you.

I might see someone cut someone else off in traffic and think, “What a jerk. They are rude and have no manners.” You might see them and think, “Wow, they must be late for work.”

And the truth might be something completely different.

We are all influenced by everything that occurs in our life. Even our choice to avoid things that might influence, influences.

What I am saying is that we can’t ever be completely “clean” of life.

And that, I think, is a very good thing. That way we can bring our life events in to help us grapple with things large and small.

Back to the traffic incident. I could also stop, breathe, and then say, “Maybe they were unaware of how close that other car was. Maybe they have a sick child and are rushing to the hospital.”

I don’t HAVE TO go to the bad every time.

I don’t HAVE TO assume the worst.

Did you know that’s a documented human response? The assuming the worst?

It’s part of the “fight or flight” animal instinct in all of us. Scientists say that is why we look for the worst in a situation. It’s in order to keep ourselves safe.

I am challenging myself today to not assume the worst. Particularly after Monday, when my “they’re all jerks” is in high reactive mode, I must fight to get back to a more joyful outlook.

It ain’t easy, kids. It ain’t easy.

But I have faith that I can do it. Just like I have faith that I can continue toward my goal of 10k steps a day. I’m now averaging over 5k a day so that 10k isn’t that far away.

Neither is my joy-seeker outlook. I know I left it here somewhere.

I’ll go rummage around in my mental pockets. You do the same.

Let’s meet back here tomorrow to check in on how we did today.

Two of Swords, Paulina Tarot, USGames

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

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Yes, I’m going to mention this a lot in the next 25 days.
No, I don’t make a dime from this.
Yes, I know it may seem obnoxious but I’m trusting y’all to understand I do this for my love of my friend and my pride in his work. MUAH!

Who Do You Need Most?

This card is a reminder that all I need is love. And that the Beatles have been haunting me this week. Stop that, you bad bad boys!

Here is the Two of Cups from the Thoth deck. Honestly, as much as this deck doesn’t appeal to me, this is a favorite depiction of this card. I find it soothing and just lovely to look at.

One of the things I’ve been trying to do lately is to love myself more. I don’t feel as if I do it enough or maybe it is that I am not regular about it. I need to do it daily. Do you?

I find that when I see myself as both cups, I do better. When I stop needing someone else to fill be up, I am a person I just like more. What about you?

It’s easy to fall into the trap of “If they need me, I must be worthy.”

What about you? Do you need you?

For your 180 second challenge today, do something for yourself for three minutes. Love you.

Two of Cups, Thoth Tarot, U.S. Games

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on!

Is Your Life In Balance?

I have this insatiable urge to tilt the whole thing just a bit to the right to fix that.

Today’s card is one of my Zentangles. I haven’t written down which tangle is which Tarot…if I were doing a Tangle Tarot. And I’m not. 😀 Yet.

But this would be the Two of Pentacles. I like how this one turned out. There are so many patterns here. I count nine altogether. The two that seem most important are the large ovals. They aren’t quite balanced, are they? I have this insatiable urge to tilt the whole thing just a bit to the right to fix that.

And if I did, wouldn’t the one on the left fall over? Maybe this off-kilter card really is balanced. Maybe this is what balanced looks like.

Over on Sharyn’s Quirkeries, she shared this quote:

“If I paint a wild horse, you might not see the horse… but surely you will see the wildness!” ~ Pablo Picasso 1881-1973

And I have to agree with Picasso on this. Perhaps what you see here is not the actual Two of Coins but the essence of the balance of this card.

I know for myself that balance is a funny thing. I sometimes whine about no me time, but then again, the only person saying yes to the stress is moi. Likewise, the only person who can clear up my social calendar is the same person–me.

What about you? Do you ever feel like your life is nothing but running and gunning with very little funning? 😀 Sorry, but the punning will continue.

How about this? For 180 seconds today, that magical three minutes, can you commit to NOT worrying about whether your life is balanced or not? Can you simply live your life for three minutes celebrating the fact that you are living it?

Find joy in just being for that precious few moments today, darlings.

Zentangle, Arwen Lynch, 2013

Seek Joy, Y’all. Pass it on!

Curious about Zentangles? Learn more about this art style.

What Will You Hear Today?

Will you give your Higher Power just three minutes of attention? A mere 180 seconds?

Today’s card brings me such joy. The elfin grin. The open mouths. The patient parent. All combined in Poppy Palin’s fanciful world of the Waking The Wild Spirit Tarot. It’s a joy.

It reminds me that sometimes we need to watch for signs. They really are everywhere. No, I’m not talking about that stop sign I almost ran yesterday.

I mean the things we need to pay attention to–listen for. When we get quiet with ourselves, then we can hear and learn. Have you ever actually heard baby birds in nest? Ever followed the sound of a babbling brook to find a quiet stream of contemplation?

How often do you turn off everything and sit in quiet?

I’ll tell y’all a secret.

I am never in silence.

Never.

I normally have the TV off unless I’m looking at it. I don’t run the radio much at all.

But it’s never utterly quiet.

I have tinnitis. Constant crickets in my cranium. Right now all I have on in my home is a ceiling fan. And I hear a consistent whining that follows me everywhere.

It’s one of the Suckies of my life.

So I have to really focus when I’m out listening for the small sounds. I actually can cover one ear and not hear certain pitches. This is useful sometimes…wicked grin. I can tune high pitched complainers out. snort

I compensate by sight. Which is really funny when you consider that I don’t have good eyesight either. But I see things. I recognize birds at a distance where others don’t. I’m constantly being told, “How did you see that?”

All I can answer is, “I paid attention.”

How will you pay attention today? What signs will you see? Write them down. See which ones keep coming up. What words or phrases or thoughts continually turn up in a pattern for you?

That’s the Universe (my word for the Higher Power) communicating with you.

Will you give your Higher Power just three minutes of attention? A mere 180 seconds?

By the way? Consider what happens when you turn 180 degrees.

Two of Air, Waking The Wild Spirit, Poppy Palin

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Seek Joy, Y’all. Pass it on.

Balance, Care & Success

Then I read the balloon to the right and it mentioned “self-care”. OH! This wasn’t about shaking Michelle Obama’s hand for saying “Seek Joy, Y’all” to the world. It wasn’t about hugging Oprah as she touted my book. It was about …

Today’s card is a reminder of balance and choices. The Two of Pentacles is one of those cards that always makes me wonder if I am balancing my personal life and my professional. And this is a gorgeous rendition of this card.

It’s from the Faerie Tarot by Nathalie Hertz (US Games 2008). Sadly it is out of print but you can still find it if you look.

One thing to note about this card is the hourglass. Do you see it? Try to focus on the entire picture rather than just the central image. There now. Do you have it?

“Like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.”

I heard that a lot growing up. I wasn’t a “Days Of OUr Lives” watcher (ABC girl here), but an important person in my life was.

If these are, in fact, the days of your life…the only days you are given in this free trip around the Universe, are you doing everything you can to balance things?

It’s lovely to be successful in business.
It’s lovely to be successful in love.

But what about being successful in both? Oh, we’ve all heard the stories about the business person who gave their all to the job only to lose everyone they loved. Scrooge, anyone?

But this lovely girl is using a wheelbarrow. She’s making it work in a field of wheat.

We can too. We can have it all. I think, for me, the all is what is important. What is “all” to me?

You know I’m working through a great workbook. I’m at a point where I am to list 100 goals for 2013. My pen has hovered over the page for two days now. What 100 things would I want to accomplish?

My pen fell on the paper and before I could stop it, I had “drink three pots of tea with Leah” and “have dinner with Ashton more” and “get a minimum of 6 hours worth of naps a month.”

Self-care.

What will you do today to care for you?

By the way? That workbook? I gave away two to newsletter readers yesterday. Silly me didn’t realize I had bought three.

SO! Leave a comment here for a chance to win. If you share this, that’s a second chance but you have to comment first. If you share, leave a comment that you did.

I’ll announce winners on Friday. I’m running this on my Facebook page as well and yes, you can enter both places.

2 of Pentacles, Faerie Tarot, USGames 2008

Seek joy, y’all! Pass it on!

Arguments, Choices & Swords

I think it is a good thing to be selfish as times. It can be nurturing to your inner child to know that someone is willing to be a little greedy and eat the last cookie.

Today’s card is a reminder that life can present us with hard choices. Do we do what we want? Do we do what someone else wants? How do we choose between those two things?

Toddler Arwen roars and waves her tiny T-Rex arms shouting, “ME ME ME ME!”

Adult Arwen sighs and wrings her probably-need-more-moisturizer hands, asking, “Am I being selfish?”

The Two of Swords is a very internal argument of self. Both choices have merit. I think it is a good thing to be selfish as times. It can be nurturing to your inner child to know that someone is willing to be a little greedy and eat the last cookie.

Similarly, it can be empowering to the adult self to know you have saved the last cookie for someone you love to enjoy. There is a joy in not telling them that you put the cookie back (okay, maybe I sniffed it too.)

Of course, this doesn’t really provide an answer for “which do I choose” but that’s pretty much how I read Tarot. 😀 My clients always tell me I that I helped them but left them with new questions.

YAY ME!

I do warn folks that I tend to leave you with homework after a consultation. Tarot, for me, is introspective and self-challenging. I think you need to empower yourself by understanding WHY you make certain choices. Whether those choices are good or bad really isn’t the key ingredient. Do the choices empower you and encourage you and emphatically push you to be a better person.

That’s the real question. And, in a loop-de-loop way, it is also the answer to which choice to make, isn’t it.

Two of Swords,
The Gilded Tarot (Book and Tarot Deck Set), Llewellyn 2012

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on!