Have You Ever Perjured Yourself? I Have.

Shakespearian_15Devil001Today’s card makes me a bit sad. It reminds me of something I used to do. If I catch myself now, I have to correct it immediately. While I’m no court of law, I do expect myself to hold some things sacred.

Truth is one of those. Here in the Shakespearian Tarot, the Devil shares this quote, “Sweet soul take heed of perjury”. It’s a line from Othello, The Moor Of Venice. One of the bard’s darker pieces, this tells the tale of a husband who murders his wife. I was going to say wrongfully murders, but really…is murder ever right?

But I digress. Today I want to talk about lying rather than murder.

Have you ever promised yourself something then not followed through because, after all, if you can’t lie to yourself who can you lie to?

Now think about that while you read the definition of perjury.

“The offense of willfully telling an untruth in a court after having taken an oath or affirmation.”

Willfully. Intentionally. Deliberately.

If we are in a relationship with anyone, the first one is with ourselves. If we can’t be true to ourselves, who can we be true to?

Now then, please note that I don’t see “fake it until you make it” as lying to myself. Not at all. That is actually telling myself the truth as it should be. That is rewiring my brain from negativity into positivity.

But there are, or were, things I told myself that were lies. Like…I was strong enough to do certain things alone. Or…I would set a boundary and then let someone else walk all over it.

The resetting of that boundary is something I had to do very recently. On the 4th of July in fact I had to clean up one of my own personal lies to myself. I ignored all the red flags about someone and gave them more chances to hurt me. And yeah, big surprise, I got hurt. Emotionally, not physically.

If I can’t tell myself the truth, how can I tell anyone else the truth? It really comes down to that for me.

What about you? How do you see perjury in the sacred court of your own sweet self?

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

Devil, Shakespearian Tarot, USGS 1993 [aff]

Water, Devils and Demons

Herbal_DevilToday’s card always makes me ask, “Who made me do it?” See, I don’t believe in the Devil as a Christian construct of behaviour correction. I do believe in evil as a motivation for action though. Confused? It’s okay. I can be convoluted. It’s one of my many charms. GRIN!

Thoreau (1817-1862) asked, “What demon possessed me that I behaved so well?”

Wouldn’t that have been a better attitude than “The Devil made me do it” as an excuse? Both use a similar perception though that I just can’t get behind.

See, I have this nagging idea that I am responsible for myself. That I, as a grown-assed woman, have to say:

I did that because I was tired and out of sorts. I let my emotions get away from me.

I did that because I was afraid. I let my lizard brain take over.

You know…basic self-responsibility statements. Annoying, right?

I’ve had a lot of discussion with myself that start with, “Well if X hadn’t made me angry” that end with me having to admit that X didn’t make me angry. I allowed myself to become angry. I’m not saying that anger isn’t a valid emotion or response. What I’m saying is that I have control of my emotions. I am, as I pointed out, a grown-assed woman.

  • No one made me eat that piece of cake.

    No one made me angry.

    No one made me cry.

    No one made me happy.

    NO one made me do anything.

  • Unless I’m puppet in which case can someone please show me where the strings are and who might be attached to them?

    Yeah, that’s what I thought too. No puppet master.

    I won’t buy “Devil made me do bad” any more than I buy “demon made me do good.” I get to own both of those things. My actions are controlled by me.

    I won’t ask you to commit to 180 seconds today for this concept. Instead, I’ll ask that you take that three minutes to do something completely off-topic. I’m asking you to turn off the water while you wash your hands.

    Crazy, right? Doesn’t even compute as belonging to this topic. I know, but it is very important to me.

    Water is precious. Here in Texas we are facing another drought. If you wet your hands, then turn off the water, you can then soap your hands for however long without wasting the water. Same for brushing your teeth. Per The Daily Green, you can also save up to 8 gallons of water a day simply by turning off the tap while you brush your teeth in the morning and at night.

    Check out these 100 ways to conserve water.

    So, today’s post was about devils, demons and water. I take full responsibility for the juxtaposition. Maybe the devil made the drought?

    Devil, Herbal Tarot, U.S. Games

    Tarot&Food: Arwen’s Oeufs à la Diable

    “It’s that ole devil called love again
    Gets behind me and keeps giving me that shove again
    Putting rain in my eyes
    tears in my dreams
    and rocks in my heart.”

    Now that song’s been sung by some of the greatest singers ever to grace our world — Ella Fitzgerald and Miss Billie Holliday just to name two.

    Then we have the Rolling Stones and Guns-n-Roses chiming in with

    “Please allow me to introduce myself
    I’m a man of wealth and taste
    I’ve been around for a long, long year
    Stole many a man’s soul and faith

    Yeah, the Devil even went down to Georgia according to Charlie Daniels. So what recipe could this Tarot card be paired with? Let’s explore the Devil card a bit first, shall we? Continue reading “Tarot&Food: Arwen’s Oeufs à la Diable”

    Bees, Art and Envy

    Fear.

    Fear is such a funny beast, isn’t it? Causes us to do things we might not normally do like tear all our clothes off at a picnic because a bee flew in our sleeve. No I haven’t done that, but I have woken up approximately three counties worth of people with my screams at seeing a scorpion in my home.

    Fear of not being enough can manifest, I think, as Continue reading “Bees, Art and Envy”