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Temper, Battles + Choice

I guess I’m committed to ending a relationship if no answer or an unsatisfactory answer comes.

Today’s card urges me to think before I strike. It asks me if I know how to engage my reason before my temper. That can be a damned hard thing to do some days.

Recently an event caused a bit of a stir among my friends. I admit to have quite the knee-jerk reaction myself. But I managed to go to the source first. I asked my question in what I hope was a non-confrontational manner. Now I wait for a response.

Waiting for a response is hard. Just like our Bleu Cat Tarot Queen of Feathers (Swords) must wait for her butterfly to go out and come back, I have to be patient. I have a self-imposed timeline though. Similar to the Queen of Feathers, I will not put down my pen or sword. I won’t back off this information seeking trip.

I guess I’m committed to ending a relationship if no answer or an unsatisfactory answer comes.

And, yes, that makes me a bit sad all-in-all. But at some point a stand has to be taken. I guess only time will tell whether my Queen of Feathers will have to use her weapon or not.

In my , one lesson is on the Hero’s commitment to the journey. It goes into the idea that there is a donkey moment where the hero solidly and sometimes loudly refuses to go “all in” on the quest before him (or her). This feels like that moment to me. I have my heels dug in hoping for a better outcome than I believe is coming.

Your journal prompt for today is, “How can I choose my battles more wisely? What are my personal emotional tells that let me know I must commit to the change?”

Queen of Feathers, Bleu Cat Tarot, Schiffer Books

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

Oh! Please join me tonight (or listen to the archives) for my inaugural Mistress of Mondays’ show on the ParaEncounters Network (PEN).

Nags, Hyenas + Sharks

Here the energy is represented by a Goddess I didn’t know. Hailing from Japan, our dark-haired beauty is known as Harionago. Her message is “The situation is

Today’s card makes me want to just smack the smug off her face. Wait. Haven’t I pledged to eradicate violence from my words? Sigh. That’s a lot harder to do than I thought.

But back to our Five of Air from the Dark Goddess Tarot. This card is traditionally a card of spite and strife as the Five of Swords. Many renditions show the aftermath of battle where there is a winner who has suffered losses they haven’t yet realized.

Here the energy is represented by a Goddess I didn’t know. Hailing from Japan, our dark-haired beauty is known as Harionago. Her message is “The situation is without honor. Engage at your peril.”

The wordsmith in me immediately translates that into Harry Nag. 😐 What can I say? My mind is a wonderful and sometimes really strange place.

She has arrows in her hair and arrows flying off her own hair. Or are those serpents tongues or tails? Above here are five lovely cherry blossoms but I feel she’s more thrilled about the two that have fallen to the ground.

This is NOT a nice woman, y’all. She is someone who takes pleasure in other people’s hurts. She is out to cause harm because it feeds her.

Yes, the is the Japanese Goddess of Mayhem and Mischief. I know someone like this. This person is actually well known in my circle. She really enjoys stirring the pot by needling people. She’s happier when someone else is sad.

Do you know someone like that? Someone who finds themselves elevated only when they put someone down? How do you deal with them?

When I run into this Harry Nag online, I try to route around her. I have participated in events and groups where she is. When I can maintain my cone of silence, it’s all for the better for me.

But she always finds a victim. Or rather, a target. The people she’s gone after aren’t victims because they aren’t weak or beaten. They are targets because she circles them like some hyena trying to nip at their heels.

Yes, I think that’s my new name for her–Harry Nag. For me, I will continue to create a space where she is not welcome. I will call her out by name if necessary but for now, I’d rather not bring that sad shark to my waters. It’s so bothersome to have to rap them on the nose all the time.

Your journal prompt is “How can I attract positive people to my world? What are creative ways I can release the negative ones?”

Five of Air, Dark Goddess Tarot, Ellen Lorenzi-Price, 2013

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

Bitches With Whips

In the card’s background, there ten figures in various aspects of suffering. The Goddess wields her whip (an important tool for this particular Goddess in my fiction as well) as she moves forward. She pays no attention to the suffering around her. She’s moving on.

Today’s card is from a brand-new deck that is making quite a stir in the Tarot world. And this random draw today made me smile even though the card’s message is not the most appealing.

You see, I’m writing a story that features one of the Erinye. That Erinye happens to be Destruction who is pictured here. The key words are very apropos to my story as well.

“Endure it or end it.”

How often have you found yourself in a situation where you are not content? Where it seems as if everything is conspiring against you?

What did you do?

Did you endure it complete with venting to friends so you didn’t blow your top?

Did you end it so you could get on with the job of being happy?

When you are in a craptastic situation, it can be very hard to get out. I know. I was in an abusive relationship for five years. Five long years where I had to move from thinking it was my fault to understanding that it was that person’s inability to process their own anger. I had allowed myself to be her emotional punching bag (and physical nearer the end). So I also had to deal with my own acceptance. In a way, it was similar to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of dying.

And it took a long time to end it even after I was out of it.

It’s a tough call from this card.

Endure it or end it.

So let’s take that as our journal prompt today.

“What situation am I enduring when I should be ending it?”

10 of Air, Dark Goddess Tarot, Arnell’s Art, 2013

Seeking, Learning, Teaching

Today’s card reminds me that learning and sharing help me grow. Without doing both, I stagnate. This is not good. 😀 Here are two upcoming events you might be interested in.

Toronto’s own James Wells will be offering an online course to help you deepen your reading skills. He and Joanna Powell Colbert, creatrix of the lovely Gaian Tarot shown here, have joined forces. Look out world! Visit here for more info! There’s free stuff.

And don’t forget to sign up for the Spiritual Path of Tarot Telesummit. This online event features one speaker per card (I’m doing Judgment) with two per week day from 9/16-10/1. It’s free to listen! And you can get your own copies to listen to later if you sign up for that. Get more info here and sign up for notifications for the schedule.

Eight of Air, Gaian Tarot, Joanna Powell Colbert

Seek joy, y’all! Pass it on.

Do You Awfulize?

Today’s card reminds me that sometimes I have to let go of my sword. That’s a bit scary when you are used to protecting yourself for whatever reason. And, I think, the majority of us have very good reasons for wielding our swords. We have years and years of experiences that have taught us to have it at the ready.

But in this Eight of Swords from Carmen Waterman’s Rainbow Travellers Tarot, we see a woman lost in a snowstorm. Let’s say that’s a metaphor for being unable to see something clearly. She’s been carrying a torch and a sword. The torch is to see her way. The sword is to protect herself.

She’s dropped the sword in my story. She’s had to let go of it so she can focus on seeing what needs to be seen. Perhaps she realizes that she needs to get real about getting out of the snowstorm. Maybe it’s become more important to her to move forward than to stand there waiting to defend herself.

My darling honey asked me last week if I thought I tended to “awfulize.” He works in a field where he reads a lot of books on a lot of things. This was in one of his books. The idea is that you dread something so much, that you build up tension in your body which manifests as pain.

I had to admit that I do. (He does as well but he was more than willing to say that. 😀 )

Do you?

Do you build up in your head the very worst scenario possible? Cast the other players as villains or enemies of your state? Do you run through conversations in your head where you fight with them or argue your point that you know they will hate?

Then get there to find out how wrong you were? Or that you didn’t prepare for the right thing?

What if we approached 90% of events as just events? Not opportunities for failure, defeat, embarrassment. How different would life be?

If I, as a tech support person, didn’t assume that everyone was out to get something for nothing or that everyone wasn’t pissed off at me personally, how much less stressful would my job be?

If I, as a person who needs tech support, didn’t assume everyone was out to rip me off or that everyone saw me as too stupid to live, how much less stressful would my support call be?

Your journal prompt for today is, “What do I tend to awfulize the most?”

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

Eight of Swords, Rainbow Travellers Tarot, Carmen Waterman

changed how I see my business. I saw a 300% increase. No lie.

Who’s Telling The Truth?

Today’s card reminds me that there are two sides (at least) to every tale. In fact, I would propose that there are three. Mine, yours and the truth.

Now I’m not saying that you or I are lying. I’m not saying that at all. It’s more that we each bring our own truth to story telling. What I see and interpret is influenced, guided, filtered by my life experiences. Same for you.

I might see someone cut someone else off in traffic and think, “What a jerk. They are rude and have no manners.” You might see them and think, “Wow, they must be late for work.”

And the truth might be something completely different.

We are all influenced by everything that occurs in our life. Even our choice to avoid things that might influence, influences.

What I am saying is that we can’t ever be completely “clean” of life.

And that, I think, is a very good thing. That way we can bring our life events in to help us grapple with things large and small.

Back to the traffic incident. I could also stop, breathe, and then say, “Maybe they were unaware of how close that other car was. Maybe they have a sick child and are rushing to the hospital.”

I don’t HAVE TO go to the bad every time.

I don’t HAVE TO assume the worst.

Did you know that’s a documented human response? The assuming the worst?

It’s part of the “fight or flight” animal instinct in all of us. Scientists say that is why we look for the worst in a situation. It’s in order to keep ourselves safe.

I am challenging myself today to not assume the worst. Particularly after Monday, when my “they’re all jerks” is in high reactive mode, I must fight to get back to a more joyful outlook.

It ain’t easy, kids. It ain’t easy.

But I have faith that I can do it. Just like I have faith that I can continue toward my goal of 10k steps a day. I’m now averaging over 5k a day so that 10k isn’t that far away.

Neither is my joy-seeker outlook. I know I left it here somewhere.

I’ll go rummage around in my mental pockets. You do the same.

Let’s meet back here tomorrow to check in on how we did today.

Two of Swords, Paulina Tarot, USGames

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

P.S. Please check out this Kickstarter. It’s a cool glass artist who is a personal friend of mine. I’ve backed many Kickstarter projects. The more airtime they get, the better they do. I’d appreciate if you would share this link as well. What goes around comes around,darlings!

Yes, I’m going to mention this a lot in the next 25 days.
No, I don’t make a dime from this.
Yes, I know it may seem obnoxious but I’m trusting y’all to understand I do this for my love of my friend and my pride in his work. MUAH!

Who Will You Stand Up To Today?

Here we see the character being tormented by the PuppetMaster. This is an age-old battle between these two. I can’t remember the kneeling figure’s name but his nemesis is controlling his mind. He’s lost in old memories, old worries, things he can’t control.

Today’s card is one of my favorite renditions of this card. For those new to my blog, I’m a bit of a collector of decks (understatement). Here is the agonizing, tail-chasing, nightmare-suffering poor poor me Nine of Swords.

From one of my favorite decks, the Frank Fradella Adventure Tarot (US Games, 1992) interprets this traditional card of worry in a slightly different way. Here we see the character being tormented by the PuppetMaster. This is an age-old battle between these two. I can’t remember the kneeling figure’s name but his nemesis is controlling his mind. He’s lost in old memories, old worries, things he can’t control.

If I were there, I’d whisper in his ear, “You don’t have to control it all. You don’t have to make retribution for all your mistakes. You are fine just as you are right now.”

I’d hold his hand and urge him to stand up. Not just to the PuppetMaster who has the power to manipulate dreams by turning them into nightmares. No, it isn’t enough to stand up to his nemesis here.

He has to stand up to himself. He has to look himself in the eye. He has to believe in his own power.

I’ve been here. Have you?

Pretty crappy place, eh? (Did I mention I was good at understatement?)

So what will it take for you to stand up to yourself?

What will you need to be able to look yourself in the eyes so you can see the amazing person that you are?

Who will you reach out to today to ask for that friendly hand squeeze, that heartfelt hug, that flash of a grin?

Will you stay on your knees allowing someone else to turn your dreams into nightmares?

No, I didn’t think so. Let’s kick our personal PuppetMasters to the curb, darlings.

Feel yourself wrapped up in a hug from me. Know that you are just fine as you are right this moment.

I don’t care if your hair isn’t brushed, your bank account is overdrawn, you suffer from any number of physical ailments. I don’t care.

What I do care is that your heart is open, your mind is free and that you understand the two rules to a joy-filled life.

1. Seek Joy, Y’all.
2. You can only control what’s in your hula hoop.

Know that I love you.

9 of Swords, Frank Fradella Adventure Tarot, US Games 2002

Seek Joy, Y’all. Pass it on.

P. to the S. If you are still thinking about , the contest is over on Thursday but it is NEVER too late to start your incredible year. 😀

Focus, Butterflies and MP3’s

It’s been a busy May for me. I’ve been running and gunning more than sitting and knitting. (Yes, I like rhymes.) I was mentioned on Theresa Reed aka the Tarot Lady’s blog as one of her top 10 Tarot blogs. It was a lovely thing from a Tarotist that I greatly admire. If you don’t read her blog regularly, you really must.

I realized I needed to get back to this a bit more. I am going to continue with my study of the Gaian Tarot as that is still pulling me strongly. And today’s card really targets my energy today. 🙂 It’s one of the Continue reading “Focus, Butterflies and MP3’s”

Losers, Troubles, Gratitude & American Idol

Traditionally this card shows someone leaving somewhere. They’ve obviously been on a long journey to get to this point. Often I see sadness in this card because of the fact that even when you leave troubled times, there is still emotional attachment.

So I just watched last night’s American Idol. So disappointed to see two of my favorites go. I know this is where it starts hurting more because I’ve invested emotions in these singers. I was heartbroken over one and understood the other. Here is what I said in my original post about both of them. Continue reading “Losers, Troubles, Gratitude & American Idol”

Musings on the Ace of Air

What do pirates and butterflies and friends we’ve never met have in common?

Today’s Gaian Tarot is the Ace of Air. It makes me smile just looking at it! A Monarch butterfly has left its cocoon and is nearly ready to fly. Did you know that the butterfly is not born ready to fly? The larva leaves the shelter of its silken tomb Continue reading “Musings on the Ace of Air”