Today’s card reminds me that we can only give so much. Sometimes we must stop and fill ourselves back up. I see caretakers and parents and teachers and so many others who do,do,do for others and rarely allow others to give back.
“No, that’s okay. I’m fine.”
“Oh I’d rather you gave that to the children, the animals, the planet.”
“Please don’t worry about me. I have it all under control.”
Then I read this quote from Lissa Coffey in her daily Wisdom email.
“We put such expectations on ourselves! And look at the expectations we put on our children, our parents, and all the people in our lives. We are human. We are here to learn. We are going to make mistakes, it’s all part of the process. When we relax our expectations and just go with the flow – approach our challenges as lessons rather than failures – then our experiences in life are more meaningful.”
And I had to wonder if this doesn’t go hand-in-hand with giving and not receiving.
Stick with me…I’ve got a point.
What if we are afraid that in accepting help–much less asking for help–we are admitting to failure? Let’s explore that though, okay?
If I say to you, “I have a toothache, please send Reiki”, do you think, “Oh that Arwen. If she would just brush more/floss more/eat fewer sweets, she wouldn’t need Reiki.”?
Do you think I am a terrible person because I have a toothache?
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Yeah. So! Why do you think I or anyone else who loves you would think you were a failure because you lost your job, had a house fire, overspent your bank account?
Sure, if it’s constant, then there is an issue but I don’t think that issue is that you are a failure. And that’s not what this post is about.
This is about learning to stop. Learning to fill yourself up. Learning to say, “I need some me time right now.”
The Sage of Chalices (Queen of Cups) from the Sirian Starseed gazes at an overflowing cup. She relaxes in water and is a part of that water. She knows that by taking time out of nurturing others she recharges herself to go back to that important work.
Important work needs people who know how to stop and refill.
How will you stop and refill this week? Put it on your list and don’t skip over it because of someone else’s crazy. That will wait. You will be of no use to those who REALLY need you if you don’t.
Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.
A great tool I’m using to help me realize where I need to recharge and refill is this workbook+planner.
Or maybe you just want to get some of the free goodies she offers.
Sage of Cups, Sirian Starseed Tarot, North Atlantic Books 2012
I am definitely due for re-charging and appreciate you sharing here why it is so essential for us to make time to do.
Nancy, here’s to a fabulous time of re-charging! 😀
I love the concept you speak about here: “Important work needs people who know how to stop and refill.” I need to remind myself of this when some of my daily activities are what other people might call indulgent. I need them to function well. Brava & thank you!
Visiting from the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Grateful to find you today!
Julie, thanks for stopping by! Self-care is not indulgent. 😀
Great read! So true. We tend to do, do, do and don’t realize that we are draining ourselves because we are doing the things we love. Thennnn lol there’s that feeling of ‘how will I be perceived asking for reiki? Aren’t I supposed to be a master healer?’ Lol you hit the nail on the head. I’ll check out the work book!!
Tia, thanks. I love that “aren’t I supposed to be a master healer” comment. It’s hard, isn’t it?
It’s all about the self love isn’t it? Soooo important! Thanks for the reminder:-)
Louise
Louise, thanks so much for stopping by!
Fabulous. My mother-in-law is one of my favorite peeps, but she is a total giver. It took me several years to get her comfortable with us getting her gifts for Christmas, even! Yikes. I eventually had to explain to her that sometimes it is selfish to not let others give to YOU because they actually want to give to you as much as you want to give to them.
Thank goodness for those dear people and let this be a day for them to celebrate a little ME time.
Amy that’s lovely. I’m glad you were able to let her know that. 😀
Yeah….and if you don’t slow down/recharge the Universe may decide to put “something” in your way to do just that! Valuable lesson for me – taking “me” time. And learning to politely say that I am unable to help.
I am unable to speed up because I have been slowed down! Lol!
Kim, Ouch! I hope all is well in your world. Those Universal 2×4’s are spikey.
Great post! “Ask for Help” is one of the natural laws of success that I teach 🙂
It’s a hard one I think, Liz. We are so trained to not ask for help because it’s a sign of weakness.
Loving the thoughts in your post. I think we do indeed fail to refill our own cups and I wonder if society expects us to be selfless. That’s wha supposedly makes us “goog” citizens?
I’m off to refill myself now by indulging in some of the creative activities that refresh and revive me.
Thanks heaps,
Ziggy
Ziggy, I think that bears looking into. Good humans do it for themselves because only children need to ask for help. Or at least that seems to be the trend to me.
great thought process! We all think that we have to be perfect- it’s okay to be human!
and yes I do take time to re-charge! I’d go crazy otherwise.
Thanks, Denys. Recharging is critical.
Thank you Arwen for this great post! And thanks for reminding me to recharge this week. I think I will give myself the gift of going to bed early tonight because sleep is just wonderful and I don’t get enough of it these days. 9 pm tonight: Some quiet meditation and off to sleep…yippee! 🙂
Halina! have a great sleep. 😀
LOVED this. We all seem happy to help others but will we ask for help when we need it? Thanks for reminding me it’s okay not to be perfect x
Sarah, I think being perfectly imperfect is a gift.