Criticism, Possibilities + Love

How critical are you of others? Can you say the same of yourself? Are you gentle with yourself? Do you understand why that it is important?

Mandala4002Today’s card is one of my mandala/tangles. I learned how to draw a mandala only recently. It is full of beautiful possibilities. But sometimes, when I look at it very closely, I wonder how I ever thought I could pretend to make art.

And then I remember this quote by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.:

We expect more of ourselves than we have any right to.

It was in my Daily Wisdom newsletter today from Lissa Coffey. And it made me remember that I’ve promised not to be so critical of the people I love–including myself.

How critical are you of others? Can you say the same of yourself? Are you gentle with yourself? Do you understand why that it is important?

Consider verbal abuse. Too many of us have had first hand experience with this. I was very lucky to have a mother who was NOT verbally abusive. Oh, she was critical in some ways but never in a way that caused me damage. My verbal (and physical) abuser was one of my first lovers. She was extremely cruel.

I left that relationship with a lot of baggage. And I had learned to think of myself in horrible ways. It wasn’t anything for me to think of myself as fat or stupid or lazy. Yep, she did a number on me that took a lot of work to move away from.

Sometimes I drift back there in times of extreme stress. But, smile, not so much these days. I’ve learned that I must be as forgiving with myself as I am with others. I must proffer the same kindness to me as I do to others.

Do you expect more of yourself than you have any right to? Do you understand that you must speak to yourself as you would have others speak to you? Yep, the Golden Rule reversed. You must do unto yourself as you would do unto others.

You wouldn’t tell a friend that their love left them because they were fat or stupid would you? Why do that to yourself?

You wouldn’t tell a child they failed a test because they were lazy would you? Why do that to yourself?

Practice being nice to you. It will make you better at being nice to others.

Now about my mandala? I think it’s fabulous. And I would have never even DREAMED of trying it before getting involved in two online circles. The Gaian Circle and the Goddess Circle.

Sample a bit of the positivity of the Goddess Circle by . It’s changing a lot of lives right now.

14 thoughts on “Criticism, Possibilities + Love”

  1. That is so well said. And how wonderful it being just what I needed to hear too. I was always putting off doing readings because I was always telling myself I wasn’t good enough. Only when I let go and just let the cards sing my readings are just right. I still have that fear creep up but less and less now. I think your mandala is beautiful. I wonder if I could too.

  2. Once again I hear you all the way! My ex husband was verbally abusive, and it’s taught me a lot about being over-critical. I’m working on dropping judgment on others, and to an extent on myself, although that’s a lot easier said than done 😉

    And by the way: You make beautiful art, and I especially love your mandalas! They’re amazingly intricate and so evocative.

    1. Sibylle, I am sad that you know that same lesson. It’s not one I would wish on anyone. Good for you though in working on it! My mandalas and tangling do make me happy. 😀

  3. Thank you for sharing! The mandala is lovely!!! And on my opinion it can´t be pointed out often enough how destructive our self-criticism is. Talking nice to oneself is making such a difference!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *