Victims, Professionals & the 10 of Swords

”Stress, it is a killer, sir.” Or so says Bartok. Points for getting that reference before hitting Google. To say I’ve been under stress lately is an understatement. Let’s take it from the top, shall we?

My partner visited for nine days. For eight of those, he was under the gun to pass a HUGE test. He was a bucket of stress. I was a bucket of stress. We actually fought which is unusual since we usually have tense conversations that we work out. But this was an honest-to-Gods fight. We negotiated it but it was a sign of stress.

He left as scheduled. My family arrived four days later for a three day visit. I was delighted to see them. Before they got there, my car died. TWICE. Once was a shorted-out battery. $200 later, that was fixed. The day I picked it up, the rear drive caught on FIRE!!! Yes, I’m using a lot of exclamation points there. Fire tends to do that to me. !!!!!!!!! FIRE!  Luckily the fire was small and did almost no damage (per insurance adjuster and my mechanic as well.)

But, the rear drive was, you will pardon the pun, toast. As in my Chevy Blazer turned into a Chevy No Va (that’s Spanish for no go.) So I had to make a decision—fix the Blazer or admit the truth and get a new car.

The truth hurts. Especially if you take the attitude that the Universe is sticking it to you. The 10 of Swords illustrates this victim mentality quite accurately. Many of us see this card and wail, “OH WOE IS ME! Why me? What did I do? WAH! WAH! WAH!” It’s definitely a time to call…

I am a professional joy seeker. I sell stuff that says that! I am a joy evangelist on Twitter. I do nearly daily gratitudes or affirmations in other places. JOY, DAMMIT! I have people ask me how I do it. How I make it look/sound so easy. I’m here to confess that it ain’t easy, y’all. Seeking joy can be a dangerous job.  There are potholes everywhere.

So even though I felt like the 10 of Swords from the Deviant Moon Tarot, I focused on small things. I told someone that if you find enough small joys, they pile up. I didn’t find enough to create an avalanche of joy, but I found enough to navigate one of the most stressful two weeks I’ve had in a while.

1. I found joy in my family—especially my sister and brother-in-law who supported me with great advice and humor at just the right times
2. I found joy in my friends who fetched and carried me as well as offered advice and jokes
3. I found joy in the fact that my jalapeno taunted me into eating it
4. I found joy in the fact that my first banana pepper fed the birds instead of me
5. I found joy in the new cherry tomatoes all over my plant
6. I found joy in throwing a bouncy rubber ball for my bouncy silly dog

So, I found joy because I looked for it. I’m not saying I didn’t whine. I’m not saying I wasn’t such a cranky nasty human that my partner probably wanted to pummel me and my stepson wanted to throw me under a bus. But I managed to keep seeking joy.

And that, my dears, is what I mean when I say I am a professional joy seeker. An amateur might have given up. Holly Lisle recently said in a newsletter that if you can be talked out if, quit now. She was talking about writing. I’m translating that into joy seeking. I cannot be talked out of it. I certainly won’t be shamed out of it either.

I was not sold a car because I read Tarot. The owner said she did not want anyone “of the Devil” in her car. Even with that kind of prejudice, I held on to joy.  I’ll hold on to “Haven’t Got Time For The Pain” by Carly Simon and Jacob Brackman, too.

“I haven’t got room for the pain. I haven’t the need for the pain. Not since I’ve known you.”

And the “you” here is my connection with Themselves. I call this energy Universe a lot simply because it translates easier for most.  I will also translate the typical victim mentality of the 10 of Swords into Joanna Powell Colbert’s 10 of Air. Here the geese fly on to their next stop. They know that sometimes you have to let someone else lead. That’s not being a victim. That’s being a member of a community that cares. I am so blessed by my friends and family.

This post is for you. When you need me, I’ll soldier up and take over the lead until you are ready to fly again. Thanks for being there for me when I truly needed you. Whatever/Whomever your higher power is (or isn’t)…Seek joy, y’all.

By the way? I’m having a fire sale. $10 off any reading of your choice for readings over $30. Email me for how to take advantage of this.

What? My stress should be your gain! Put “Fire Sale” in the subject, please.