Well, we are home. It was a very long week, but a very good week. Saw some people there I have been having problems with. One I can deal with if all I have to do is mundane crap and surface chitchat. The other didn’t even speak to me. Not even a hello. I guess I do still love her very much for it to hurt so much.
I was meditating on the embers of a fire one night and realized that for all the glowing light, there are dark spots. I think that the dark spot in my friend that I dislike so much is the same for her. We both have shown dark spots to one another and now I stand outside wishing I could tell her I still love her.
The words she said and that I said were so harsh. She is close to this other, but I have NEVER chosen my friends based on who they are friends with. I do not have to like everyone and in fact don’t.
But can I forgive her for what she did to me? Can I extend my hand to her in friendship and forgiveness? I miss her friendship very much but that was changing the moment this other person entered the scene. Oh to go back with the knowledge I have now. I would change one thing. I would change my damnable habit of being nice to everyone. This is a lesson hard learned, but well learned.
But my friend… the one I hurt… she is family to me. I don’t choose family easily. I get mad as hell at those I love and I was madder than that at her.
I wonder if I can forgive her for what she did. I wonder if she can forgive me.
More on Dragonfest later. Amazing things happened there. Amazing.