“That’s not in my hula hoop.”
It refers to what I cannot control. And, darlings, that’s a lot. I cannot control the driver in the car next to me–no matter how much I scream or smile. I cannot control my upstairs neighbor–no matter how much I shush her friends when they are too noisy. I cannot control an acquaintance on the path to self-destruction–no matter how much I would like to.
None of that is within my control. It’s out of my reach. Sometimes it’s hard to remember what is and isn’t within my sphere of influence. I have an over-inflated sense of self some days. 🙂
So the hula hoop analogy works for me. Imagine you are standing with a hula hoop around your waist. You have to hold that hula hoop up. Whatever is inside the circumference, is yours to have and to control. The rest is beyond your grasp.
Like I said, some days it’s harder than others to figure out what is and isn’t in that hoop. So, like any self-respecting Tarot consultant, I’ve come up with a spread to help.
1: What do I need to focus on the most in this situation?
2. What are three things I do have control over?
3. What are three things I think I have control over but don’t?
4. What balances me?
5. What unbalances me?
6. What is the Universe’s message for me in this situation?
So the focus of this reading today is about what I need to know about a situation within my circle of friends. I phrased it as:
What do I need to know about my hula hoop as far as X is concerned?
I am reading with the Gaian Tarot.
ONE: Awakening. I need to focus on my own rising. The peace cranes above emphasize this peace that I have found. There is a circle of people around the center (me) figure. They support me. They lend energy to my focusing on my own awareness and rising. This is important. To be distracted from this would be bad. The words “dangerous” and “deadly” both popped into my head and I replaced them with bad.
TWO: Three things I have control over.
Card 1: 8 of Cups
Card 2: Death
Card 3: Bindweed (Devil)
Wow. Emotional baggage. Painful change. Gossip. Those are the three key words I associate with those three cards. Interesting that Bindweed shows up here. I see the birds sitting on the wire as controlling the weeds binding the person (me) down. They are the birds that pick and peck through gossip. I’ve been struggling to eradicate gossip from my life. I fail a lot at this. I label gossip as talking about someone behind their back in such a way that you wouldn’t say it to their face.
Death is the painful changes that I’ve been undertaking in my world. It’s not easy to reshape my place in my community. I have a vision of who I am that has long been based on how I see myself in the mirror of my community. This is my doing–not theirs. I have had to change a lot of things. This is part of the finalization of the Arwen Remodeling project.
8 of Cups is about leaving things, and people, behind. It’s about swimming into clearer, cleaner, less toxic emotional waters.
All three of these are things I can control. They are within my hula hoop. I am having a toddler reaction to them. I don’t WANT to control my love of gossip. I don’t WANT to keep on with the painful change. I don’t WANT to leave people behind. It feels icky and mean and gross. But I know that it is healthy. By letting go of those who are toxic to my emotional health, I am opening up space for those who will be good for me.
THREE: Three things I think I have control over but don’t.
Card 1: Lovers
Card 2: 2 of Fire
Card 3: 4 of Fire
Huh. Spiritual partnership. Passionate partnership. Finding my center. That’s a bit disconcerting if you ask me. The Lovers I get–I think. I don’t have control over the ….OH!
I don’t have control over how this person represents our friendship. I can’t limit the extent of their personal crazy. I can’t control how they choose to react to me. I can’t control if they feel a need to try to take away my passion. And I can’t control whether or not they are centered. That doesn’t affect my center.
I had to step back for a moment to look at those cards from a different angle. Hard to get out of my head on that round.
Four: The Guardian (King) of Earth balances me. This makes me smile. On one hand, I could say this is my partner. He is a balancing influence because he’s really good at listening and then reminding me of things I’ve said before. But I think this is more about me–or I want it to be more about me. I’m not willing to lay this at someone else’s feet. I think that’s a bit of a copout. I balance me by focusing on my surroundings. By loving my home and community and inviting those in who are part of that healthy whole. I harvest what is ready. This card makes me think of the Emperor (and that’s a pretty common thing for the Emperor to be connected to this King of Earth.)
Five: Interesting that it is the 8 of Earth that unbalances me. This is a card of apprenticeship to me. Could it be that I’m over-focusing on the idea that I’m still learning how to do this hula hoop act? Could it be that I think I can show this person the error of their ways by living my life as I think they should live theirs?
WHOA. Could I get any more out of my hula hoop on that one? No onder it’s an unbalancer. The more I live with this person in mind, the more unbalanced my own life becomes. That’s some pretty heavy stuff.
Six: Bwahahahahahahaha! There’s a group of us who study this deck with the creatrix, Joanna Powell. We chat about how literal this deck can be. Here I see the card that says, “Put the map down and journey. You are closer than you think.” The 7 of Air amuses me. If the map studier would just lower the map, they would see the mountain they seek RIGHT IN FRONT of them. 😐
Okay. So this was an interesting reading for me. Four Major Arcana, 2 each of Earth and Fire while Water and Air clock in with 1 a piece. Fairly balanced in that respect as I see it. I see the Major Arcana as out of my control (there’s that word again) or higher power influences.
So what do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this spread. Let me know if you try it.
And remember, while you are staying in your own hula hoop, always Seek Joy, y’all.