Sometimes I get so angry that I cannot give voice to the rage. Sometimes I can. This is about Spirit Day which is today 10/20/2010. I’m nauseated that there is a need for this. I’m disgusted that bullies are allowed to continue.
I’ve been bullied. In my childhood and as an adult. Some will say that I should just suck it up and tell the bullies where to go and how to get there. Others will say turn the other cheek.
It hurts, y’all. It hurts. And it hurts when I hear others bullying/taunting/gossiping in mean, evil, vulgar ways. It is my opinion that only the very vulgar gossip in mean ways. Only the petty people who have no lives can spend time on tearing down others.
This happens where I work. There are co-workers who aren’t socially adept. They don’t fit in. So they get teased behind their backs. I loathe this behavior. It is bullying of the worst kind because it creates a gang mentality where others can join in but the victim doesn’t know about it.
This is the kind of bullying I’ve had to experience in my adult life. This is the kind of thing I have spoken out against at work. But not enough. It’s never enough if the bullies think it’s okay to do it.
And I don’t think we all realize when we are being bullies. When we mock a co-worker’s outfit or speech pattern…if you can’t do it to their face, why can you do it behind their back?
Ask yourself that question every day.
This is a piece I wrote about today’s Spirit Day. I used nine words from my 9Word Poetry Challenge thread. However, I only used eight of them. I couldn’t figure out how to stick “finery” back in once I realized I’d left it out. Oh well.
The nine words were: Rapping- Breath- Weeping- Caress- Mist- Warm- Finery- Nebulous- Pale
Spirit Day Is Not Enough
Rapping on the mist,
They cry out to us.
Pale pain choking
Eyes weeping words.
Ignored.
Taunted.
Teased.
Abused.
The very breath of life
Choked out by choices
Forced upon them by us.
Our nebulous, temporary love?
One day not support enough.
As their cold hands slip
Once warm loving flesh.
Now?
Smothered in fresh dirt.
Burnt into scattered ash.
Drowned in cold water.
Drained razor’d wrists.
Fueled by our blind eye
Turned to the torture
Of living a queer life.
It will only get better
When we refuse to shut up.
The children die because of me
The children die because of you
The children die because we do not
We do not
We do not
We do not
We do not do enough.
And so those poor orphans of love
Are left rapping on mist
Begging for attention
In final, permanent cries.
Stephanie Arwen Lynch 10/20/2010
So how have you been bullied?
How have you bullied?
How can you stop both?
Let’s make this an every day occurrence, okay? It’s not enough to wear purple one day. We must speak out and up on a continual basis.
beatiful, biting poetry, arwen. you’re right, why do we even need to keep talking about this subject. i’ve been bullied and so have my children. and why, i have no idea. but one thing i do know, bullies are frightened, little people. pitiable. and we need to keep calling them on it.
Hi Trudy. Thanks for commenting. It’s an insanity that has got to end. I am no longer okay with it being “what kids do.” I’m sure you aren’t either.
Arwen, your poem made me cry. You’re right that one day isn’t enough, and that we shouldn’t allow this. As for gang mentality, part of the problem is that it’s so easy to just not say anything, in case they turn against me next. Or what if I agree with some of what they are saying, but not with how or why they’re saying it? Thank you for the call to mindfulness!
Chloe
Chloe, thank you for stopping by and commenting. I really agree with you on the self-preservation thing. I know I’ve done that myself. It’s hard to stand up for yourself–whether you’re eight or 48!
It’s been my experience that bullies are given power by those that enable them. If others didn’t laugh and join in, the bullying would stop. If we all didn’t tolerate the bully (as adults) then they would lose their power and deflate…or move on to another job.
I’ve been bullied, too. Harrassed. Intimidated. There is so much more to life and sometimes it’s really hard to see that silver lining on the cloud of life.
Karen, from your lips to Someone’s ears!
Wise words and a wakeup call for me. I have had my eyes covered I guess for what going on – persevation i guess although not acceptable.
Me too experience bullying at work. Luckily not of me but of collegues and as you say – I have kept quiet to not be the next target.
Another kind of bullying I have seen is that from young children. I do not know why it is so but in some cases it seems to be more accepted and tolerated with bullying from young pre-schoolers since they “just play”, “really dont mean it” and “have to work this through themselves”. to clarify things: Its my son (5ys) that have been exposed to this and other parents that try to smooth things over…
Anna, good for you! It is hard because no one wants to be the next target. Hugs!
I look back over the long, long course of my life and what I find is surprising. I never realized until quite recently just how much has been denied me simply because I am not a socially-acceptable weight. Quite simply, I didn’t put it together until just this year…and I’m 49…that all of the rejection after rejection after rejection in pretty much every area of my life is primarily based upon how others perceive my size. I think that people who openly criticize others about their weight are cruel, but it might be suggested that their harsh honesty at least reveals what truly bothers them. When I think of all the people who rejected me without at least telling me the truth as to why, I feel dumbfounded. I can hardly work on an issue if no one clues me in as to the matter. I don’t know if anything will ever work out.