[Tweet “How do you manage someone else’s stress-induced assholerieness?”]
#affirmation Sometimes the people you love make themselves very unlovable. They exhibit assholerieness that could be the end of a relationship, if…
If you allow yourself to not see the person behind the curtain. If you forget to take in to consideration their circumstances. Everyone of us reacts to stress. Some of us do it with aplomb. We channel it and manage it beautifully.
Others? Not so much. They snap. They lash out. They turn into control freaks or sodden masses of hysteria. Or they utilize alternative methods of therapy.
Alcohol.
Drugs.
Television.
Computer games.
Shopping.
I tend to shop and lose myself in tv and books. What about you?
The Moon card is a card that reminds me to look at the illusion, to manage the emotional outpouring. It can speak to being overwhelmed by things beyond our control.
One thing that I do know is that it is damned difficult to not snap back when snapped at. I have learned that I have to look behind the temper. I have to assess what is really going on.
Are they mad at me or is this something brought on by stress? What are the extenuating circumstances?
Sometimes the only way I can manage my own innate need to protect myself against this unexpected anger is to withdraw. But that pulling back could hurt someone else.
So today’s affirmation is one way I deal with this pushmi-pullyu effect.
Today I breathe before I respond. I exist in this moment. My body, my mind, my heart are here for this particular now. I respond as I breathe –carefully and with the intention of healing. I forgive those who lash out. I protect myself from becoming an emotional punching bag. Loved and loving, I love each of you. Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.
Moon, Tarot of a Moon Garden, U.S. Games Systems Inc
How do I handle other people’s S.I.A.? Depends who it is really and what’s going on… mostly I try to let it roll like water off of a duck’s back but sometimes my teflon coating wears thin and if it sticks then I snap! Often it’s just part and parcel of learning to live with someone and in the grand scale of things maybe just not that big a deal… Now if I comes consistently from the same person and I feel that it will continue as that it what they like to do… then I move them to my ex files… Depends who they are and why they are 😀
It it’s a pattern, my reaction is far different. 😀
If I don’t do something to protect myself my body does it for me and makes me ill. Then I have to withdraw. I am researching the subject of rest – surprisingly little to be found – so that I can be more intentional in this area. If I don’t need the person in my life or they don’t need me then I move away. If they are someone close then I have all sorts of strategies but the biggest help is my meditation practice.
Hubby sometimes suffers from assholerieness, but then again I bet I do as well. Depends on the severity of the outbreak. Sometimes I ignore it, others times I bring it to his attention.
Wise words …
If this behavior is a pattern, the person could be a psychopath/sociopath/narcissist or just a general toxic asshole who is trying to manipulate you via an abusive relationship. People need to figure out what is going on and protect themselves accordingly. There are quite a few good book out there that describe toxic relationships; the best one I have found is Psychopath Free (and I don’t get anything for promoting this – it’s just something that describes the abusive relationship to a T and discusses how to heal).