The YesBut Family Tree

Dreaming Way 4 Cups

Dreaming Way 4 CupsToday’s card is a hard one for me. I’ve been this person. The one overly focused on what I don’t have. What I can’t have. What is so lost to me. I’ve been stuck in the grief of the loss.

Here with her hands on her hips is the Dreaming Way‘s Four of Cups (USGames). Her bangs hide her eyes. Her hair swings forward to cut off her peripheral vision.

Oh if she would only lift her head up for just one moment. Then she might catch a glimpse of the cup behind her. The one being filled from a Universal well. The one that has everything she could want and more.

How do you get someone unstuck from that spot? I have known people who I call YesButs. The ones who listen to any encouragement, any pointing out of the small joys and goods and respond, “Yes, but…”

Then they list their litany of woes and sorrows and pains.

I am absolutely not saying that we don’t have woes and sorrows and pains. Not even!!!

I am saying that dwelling on them KEEPS us there. That the energy we give to things in our life is the food they need. I don’t just believe…I KNOW FOR A FACT that focusing on the small good, the little joys works.

If you’ve ever been a parent or a pet owner, consider the idea that you focus on the right behaviour and praise that. You don’t over focus on the wrong–that’s time for a simple, direct correction. Then you move on.

Then you move on, y’all.

Many of us aren’t moving on. Why? Is it fear that the cup we don’t see will be spilled too?

You know what? It’s okay if that happens because there is always more where that came from.


The Universe wants us to be happy. Happy children make the world better.

Be a happy child today. Don’t be a YesBut.

Your journal prompt is this. “Where do I get stuck? Where do I lose my peripheral vision?”

Four of Cups, Dreaming Way Tarot, U.S. Games

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

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4 thoughts on “The YesBut Family Tree”

  1. I’ve been I “yesbut” to. My grief was my identity, and thank God(des) I am moving on. I don’t say I have moved on, but I’m getting there. And I’ve also learned to avoid helping other Yesbuts. They only want attention. Focusing daily on gratitude has helped me tremendously. πŸ™‚

  2. Love this post and that was me much of this week, today i have made a shift- actually chose to do it yesterday. I like what you are doing with Tarot. the hero’s journey looks interesting

  3. Oh yes Arwen! I sometimes lose my peripheral vision and turn into a YesBut. I’m actually now healing a lot because I used to have a very unconscious thought that said “I can’t be doing well in all my life aspects” So, when I’ve succeed in something, let’s say career, then I would start focusing in something I thought I wasn’t succeeding at , let’s say love relationships. Then I realized I actually always unconsciously do something to sabotage one aspect of my life or the other so I have something to rant about and complain and because unconsciously I think I cannot have it all. Trying to get rid of my complaining habits has been really challenging but it’s starting to shift everything.

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