Sigh. I got tagged by the lovely Joanna Powell Colbert and resisted.
Now I’ve been not just tagged but called out by name and challenged by my handsome little brother, Linus.
JPC’s tag was to list 25 things about me.
Linus’s tag is to list 10 interesting things but honest things about myself and then find 7 other friends to do the same.
So by doing Joanna’s, I accomplish Linus’ and raise him fifteen. HA! A win-win situation for me.
But since this is a Tarot journal, I’m going to draw 25 cards and tell you something about myself via the cards. 🙂
There! I made it into a Tarot exercise. I can sleep the sleep of the innocent tonight. Ok, at least the sleep of the “whew didn’t get caught”.
Onward!1. King of Pentacles My father died on my 11th birthday. He was a gay man whose lover was the county coroner. His lover signed the death certificate and timed it for one minute after midnight so that I could be told Daddy died on the 9th and not the 8th. The King of Pentacles is the mini-emperor to me. I tend to see this card and the Emperor as father figures.
2. Sybil Of Swords My mother was a loving woman and one of my best friends. She died in 2001 and I miss her every day still. She was incredibly sharp witted. My family tells me I have her sense of humor. I can’t think of a nicer compliment. I think my sister has it as well. It may be genetic. 🙂
3. Judgement This card makes me think of balance and not balance. I lived with the help of some pretty strong anti-depressant cocktails after my mama died. Part of me really wanted to join her. Part of me knew that was not a good idea. Luckily I sought out professional counseling. I felt like a failure at this game called life.
4. Three of Swords My heart’s not been broken so much as shattered into such tiny fragments that I used to wonder if I could ever put it together again. I was betrayed by an ex in such a way that it is very hard for me to trust someone enough to actually even want to explore an intimate relationship with them. I think this is why I’m single.
5. The Hanged Man One thing about me that is unusual to many of my friends is my penchant for silence. I can sit for hours and hours with no tv and no music. Sometimes the idle chatter of people can make me so cranky I have to go to my room for silence. I detest talking for the sake of talking.
6. 7 of Swords This is the card of the sneaky bastard who steals from you. Because this is a public journal, I can’t name names, but this relates to the 3 of Swords. I loathe this person to the point that I can not even say her name. I have moved past calling her a four letter word though. I’m up to five letters. HA!
7. 10 of Cups I believe in the power of love. I believe in the sanctity of a monogamous partnership. I believe this can happen in my life. 10 of Cups is all about emotional journey’s fulfillment to me. Time to celebrate love. I’ve been married three times. Twice to women and once to a man.
8.The High Priestess My path has taken me from the religion of my parents to a religion that speaks to me on a very deep level. When I first heard the Charge of the Goddess spoken in Circle, I wept because I felt like I’d come home. I have founded a tradition in Wicca. The main tenent is change.
9. Sibyl of Wands Oh this has to be my best friend and writing partner, Cai. She is the passionate woman who makes things happen. She knows how to love and her daughter is a prime example of that. This is also her drive to be published. It’s Cai’s fault that we are selling books.
10. Universe I have traveled across North Dakota as part of a wagon train. I have studied the Amish in Pennsylvania. This card represents my reading and traveling and reaching out to touch my world. I want to experience so much more of this world. Traveling is definitely something I love doing.
11.6 of Pentacles Ah generosity! My first computer was a manifestation of my belief in the Universe’s ability to take care of me. Someone gave me a desktop when they heard me saying, “I have a computer.” When they asked me what kind, I replied, “I don’t know. I haven’t gotten it yet. I am practicing my affirmations.” And he gave me a computer. Kid you not!
12. Ace of Swords Oh ouch. This is my “you might be pregnant” card. One of the things I most wanted from this life was to have children. I never gave birth to one of my own. I have had (and do have) many children in my life. One of those is my darling stepson who rocks. He and his sisters are so precious to me. But this Ace of Swords represents loss for me if I’m honest. I can’t see it without a twinge of what could have been.
13.10 of Wands Oh this is me right now! I’m taking two online college classes, working full time, writing, reading tarot, mentoring tarot students and trying to remember to sleep. Sometimes I feel like I will snap. This blog is one of my twigs that gets neglected of late. I’m trying to keep up with it though!
14. Ace of Wands This is my creative self. I am a poet first and foremost and a novelist second. I have written over 1000 poems in my life and have most of them saved on disk or in paper form. I write good poetry, bad poetry and in-between poetry. I think if I couldn’t write poetry, I would explode. It’s my way of letting things out.
15.2 of Cups This goes back to Cai. I have been blessed with one thing every person needs. The security of one person who knows me inside and out — bad and good. That person is Cai. She’s known me since we were 16 years old. Nearly drowned me too! We’ve fought. We’ve made up. We’ve seen each other through the deaths of parents, the loss of relationships, the loss of homes and jobs. I would not be the woman I am today if it weren’t for the love and support of Cai.
16. Emperor As a child I resented other children who had fathers. Because my daddy was not in my life full time, I felt as if I were missing out. I actually hit my mother when she told me he was dead. I flung myself at her and beat on her with my fists screaming that she was lying because she hated him and didn’t want me to love him. That was patently untrue because my mama never said a bad word about the man. It was the rage of a hurt little girl who would never see her daddy again.
17.Nine of Swords Another ouch. Not so sure I am glad I decided to pull cards for this. Can I quit now? NO? Fine. This one is about my nightmares. I don’t have them as much anymore but they used to be a weekly if not nightly occurrence. I was in an abusive relationship that was really horrific.
18. Seer of Cups I really am psychic. I see things and hear things I shouldn’t. Or at least that I’m not sure I want to hear and see. I know things before people tell me. I have done readings where I put the cards down and just listen to what I am being told. I have channeled the dead which freaked me out quite badly.
19.Empress At heart I am a lazy woman. I would love to loll about doing nothing all day. I realize the Empress is not a lazy woman, but that was my first thought when I looked at her. And also the idea of being in nature appeals to me. I surprise my friends by seeing nature where it shouldn’t be–like a fox in downtown Lansing or a bald eagle soaring over Englewood, CO. Not necessarily out of place, but most people don’t see them because they aren’t looking for them.
20.Wheel of Fortune I have been very lucky in my life. I’ve survived three bad car accidents. I’ve narrowly missed a cancer battle (it’s why I had my hystorectomy in 2007). I’ve loved spectacularly. I’ve met some amazing musicians and artists and authors. I also believe that the Wheel of Fortune is like a carousel. If I want to win that brass ring, I need to reach out and grab for it.
21.Temperance My paternal grandmother was an alcoholic. I have to watch myself like a hawk so that I don’t follow in her footsteps. It is one of my darkest places because I know how easily I could. To live in a fog day in and day out sounds like a lovely thing to me some days. The fog could dull the pain of remembering and the pain of knowing other people’s pains. I have a very strong rule that I rarely break. I never drink when I am angry or sad. I can’t be emotionally involved in wanting a drink. My rule works for me.
22.8 of Pentacles My longest-held motto is “The day I stop learning is the day I start dying.” I firmly believe this which is why I am always researching things. I want to know about everything including you reading this blog. And do teach me things. I love to learn.
23.2 of Pentacles I feel like this woman a lot. She stands on one foot while balancing two balls. The water roils around her and it’s dark out too. Precarious is what she feels like to me. As if she could slip and fall at any moment. I think this is my own self-doubt that I beat down all the time. I know it’s there, but I try to not put too much emphasis on this fear.
24. 9 of Pentacles My second longest-held motto is “bloom where you are planted.” The 9 of Pentacles is a successful woman gazing out at her garden. I have things to harvest and things that I am still growing. I have a very good life right now and I am very grateful for it.
25. 10 of Swords This actually made me laugh because this is another fear that I work on. It’s my fear of being a victim again. I will choose instead to be Isis who overcomes Anubis’ dreadful attack on her lover/brother/husband Osiris. I will not be pinned in place by this fear.
WHEW! That was hard! So I’m supposed to tag 7 people. Please tag yourselves and post a comment here to let me know when you blog it!