What Perpelexes Me Is This

Rumi_5CupsToday’s card was a challenge for me because I wasn’t sure I wanted to deal with the subject. Sometimes I have a thought in my head so I draw a card for that thought. Other times I wake up “tabula rasa”. This morning was definitely a blank slate morning. 😀

So here is the card I drew from the Rumi Tarot. The Five of Cups with the sad and isolated figure. His head is down. His hands are open but he’s not looking for anyone to give him anything. He seems to have lost hope. Or maybe he’s just lost his emotional way.

The quote is “Perplexity in the heart is like war.” I had to look up the rest of the piece so I could understand why this phrase was put with this card. Traditionally the 5 of Cups means being over-focused on lost connections while not seeing the ones you still have.

“The perplexity in the heart is like war:
when a man is perplexed he says,
“I wonder whether this is better for my situation, or that.”
In perplexity the fear of failure and the hope of success
always are in conflict with each other, advancing, retreating.” —Rumi

Okay. That works for this card quite well. Seeming to be stuck at the point of an emotional decision. Stay or go.

For me, that is something I can honestly say I run into a lot in my joy seeking. I get into situations that are so aggravating, so crazy-making, so ARRRGH that I just want to stay there until they are FIXED, DAMMIT.

Um, Arwen? Maybe the thing that is keeping them aggravating and crazy-making and ARRRGH is you? I mean…if you are the one common denominator?

Ouch.

But yes, a key tool in joy seeking is owning my shit. I must be responsible for my actions. I cannot blame D for hurting me if I know that is D’s way. I cannot blame S for not paying me back if I know that’s S’s way.

It’s like blaming the wasp for stinging me. It’s what it does.

So my take away for myself is this.

How much I contribute to those unjoyful moments is in direct correlation to the perplexity of my heart.

Clarity comes when I own my own shit. Because then the only person to celebrate with or blame is the person I see in the mirror. I need to allow and understand that not all are joy seekers and not all are shit stirrers. Many of us are a mix of both, right? I try to limit my shit stirring (grin) but I also MUST own it when I do it.

Your 180 second challenge today is to focus on a situation/person that is really chapping your ass. Find three ways you are adding to that situation. Find three ways you can change how you add to that situation (up to and including removing yourself from that situation, yes?!)

5 of Cups, Rumi Tarot, Llewellyn, 2009 [aff]

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

P. to the S. Here’s a course that really opened up my own creativity. I never thought I could create art before! It starts 8/1. Come take it with me [aff]! Yes, I’m doing a refresher/reawakener. 😀

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What Do You Do When Feces Fugit?

five-earthI decided to pull a card then write a powerful, empowering, positive affirmation. I knew it would be easy.

Then I drew this card.

Yeah. Not so easy.

Huddled in a makeshift shelter, this person seems to be just trying to make it through the night. I don’t think he or she is all about joy and seeking it. I’m reminded that there have been times in my life when seeking joy was about as much fun as pulling teeth.

And not as easy either.

But my constant push to seek joy isn’t some rose-colored phrase. I know shit happens. It happens to me as much as to anyone. What makes me different is that I realize it is simply shit and it is fleeing.

Feces Fugit

Shit flies. The trick is to find joy even in that.

So my affirmation for the Five of Earth (Gaian Tarot) is this:

I know how to seek shelter when necessary. I am blessed with knowing when to duck and cover. I am safe from the storms of life because I know how to honor all sides of me. I am loved and loving even in the midst of chaos.

And I am loved. While writing this, a dear friend called me to give me much needed advice on how to handle an injury. I think the Universe really outdid itself when it got me to Austin.

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

Five of Earth, Gaian Tarot, Joanna Powell Colbert Limited Edition

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Whose Truth Is More Important?

We see that card as fighting sometimes, but it is also about competition and finding your own voice. The one who stands out against the other four is the one I find most interesting.

CaprockCanyonFeb2013BuffaloWaitToday’s card is a picture taken by my sweetie while we were on a day trip to Caprocks Canyon State Park here in Texas. He and I don’t get to see each other much so it was especially nice to have this time with him.

But back to this picture. Syzygy (the name he prefers I use to maintain his privacy) and I joked about the fact that we always see a buffalo when we go to the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge. It’s like they are on the clock or something and will be standing/posing right as we drive in. We didn’t see one when we got to Caprock so we wondered if they were not union. 😀

Then we see this guy all by himself. Just wandering along cropping the grass. We lost track of him when we went into the visitor’s center to pay for our entrance. On the road, I noticed him again.

We pulled over to watch and take pictures. Then we saw the herd…about 20 or more down by Lake Theo. Some were rolling in the dust while others tussled with one another. The lone bull we had seen came charging down the hill but stopped short about ten feet away.

He headbutted a few of the ones that came up to him then melded into the rest of the herd.

The whole thing–his rejoining–put me strongly in mind of the Five of Wands. We see that card as fighting sometimes, but it is also about competition and finding your own voice. The one who stands out against the other four is the one I find most interesting.

And isn’t it hard to do that. To speak your own truth even when others are against it. To put it into context, it’s like being a fan of the other team when everyone else is rooting for the home team.

It can be uncomfortable.

So today, I want you to commit to allowing someone in your life their three minutes to speak their truth without you trying to change their minds or tell them how wrong they are.

Ha! Thought I was going to ask you to use that three for yourself, didn’t you?

Not today. Today I’m asking you to give someone else that 180 seconds. Can you do it?

Rejoining The Herd, taken at Caprock Canyon State Park, February 2, 2013, Syzygy

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Violence, Words & Intentions

It’s always a joke–except when I’m mad. Then there’s heat behind those violent words that I fling out at a driver who pissed me off. There’s unformed intention floating around my heart.

I rarely post twice on the same day but wanted to share this thought on violence with you.

Violent Words

A thought. We all have varying opinions on why our society is so much more violent these days.

Here’s mine.

Language.

The things we say embed themselves into our lives. Make impressions on our souls.

Do you ever say “I could just smack her” or “I’d like to punch him in the face”?

Do you use violent language without thinking twice?

I do.

I even jokingly tell my dog that I will beat her like a rug. Of course I’d never hit her. It’s just a joke, right?

It’s always a joke–except when I’m mad. Then there’s heat behind those violent words that I fling out at a driver who pissed me off. There’s unformed intention floating around my heart.

Would I do it if I had the chance? Of COURSE not.

But what is that saying about thoughts becoming intentions so make yours good ones?

I’m not saying that our society’s use of “one of these days, Alice, straight to the moon” is the root of all evil.

All I’m saying is that I am personally pledging to make 2013 (and the rest of 2012) a non-violent words year. Maybe I’m not the type to knife or shoot or run over another person, but who’s to say my words aren’t shoving, pushing, pointing me to that eventuality?

If you catch me using violent language, will you help me correct my course? I’d appreciate it.

P. to the S. If this were a Tarot card, it would be the Five of Swords. I took this picture in Laguna Beach, CA April 2012.

Seek Joy, Y’all. Please pass it on.

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Sharing, Shadows & Slices

I’m sharing how I do it because I know it works. Plain and simple, I’m not going to hold on to all the important pieces. Hold out your hands. I’ll share.

Today’s card reminds me that sharing is caring. Here we have two young ladies but one has all the important pieces. They might be meeting to solve a problem, but how can they if one holds all the knowledge? And so smugly too!

We know these types. We’ve even been these types. Well, I know that I have. Have you? It’s okay to admit it because that’s how we get better. We address our shadow selves then bring light to those places that need light.

Secret tip from teh Arwen: Not all of our shadow selves NEED light. Some parts are in the shadows because that’s where they do their best work.

I’m an admitted Pollyanna. I have coke-bottle-thick rose-colored glasses. I let the blue bird of happiness sit wherever he likes. I chase rainbows. I climb mountains because they are there.

In a word, I’m obnoxious about seeking joy. OBNOXIOUS.

And I’m fine with that. Those that don’t need/can’t process what it is that I do are not on my radar. I’m seeking joy with fellow joy seekers.

I’m sharing how I do it because I know it works. Plain and simple, I’m not going to hold on to all the important pieces. Hold out your hands. I’ll share.

I want you to be happy. I want you to understand that, yeah, I’m not happy 24/7. But I seek joy 24/7. I may be the world’s biggest bitch at work (hint: don’t talk to me when I’m working because I’ll snap like a loggerhead turtle), but I also will apologize because I know it’s an unpleasant experience to have your head bitten off.

Ptooey. And heads really don’t taste that good. I think I’ll work on giving up that habit of mine.

So what type are you going to be today? Don’t worry about tomorrow. Focus on right now.

Me? I’m going to share my important pieces. I’m not going to use my razor-sharp tongue to slice off any heads of any co-workers. I’m going to focus on seeking joy even when it’s a customer who just needs to bitch at me about things I can’t do anything about. That’s their stuff not mine.

My stuff? That’s the joy-seeking missile stuff. Ready? Set? Aim? FIRE!

Seek joy, y’all. pass it on.

Five of Swords, Dreaming Way Tarot, US Games, 2012

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Psychics, Shoulders & Fears

Today’s card is a question for you to answer. How psychic are your friends? Not how psychic are you, but how psychic are they? Do they know your every thought? Can they read your mind? Do they know when you need a hug or a helping hand?

What? Only a few and not all the time? No way! Get out of town.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, Y’ALL!

You mean to tell me that when you are lonely or sad or scared, your friends don’t pick up the phone or come right over unless you tell them? What kind of friends are they? I mean, really. Right?

Um.

Now turn that around. Are you that psychic? Do you know when they need you?

What? They have to let you know? You sometimes know but it’s better when they just say, “Hey, I really need a friend right now”?

No way! Get out of town.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, Y’ALL!

Soooooo, I think maybe you are seeing the point by now, yes?

If you are sad or scared or lonely, tell your friends. Let them know. Maybe the first three will be too busy or have their own shit to deal with, but check out number four or five. You will get that shoulder or ear that you need. I promise.

And you will be that shoulder or ear they need. I promise that too.

The Universe is whispering in my ear. Tell them, Arwen. Tell them I am here for them. Tell them I dwell in them, in their friends, in every living thing. I am here for them.

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

Five of Water, Gaian Tarot, Llewellyn 2011

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Tick…Tick…BOOM!

Hoo boy, Arwen is hot under the collar. I think if I drew a card, I’d get the Five of Fire right now. Full on flame-throwing fire-breathing dragon mode.

 

Hoo boy, “teh Arwen” is hot under the collar. I think if I drew a card, I’d get the Five of Fire right now. Full on flame-throwing fire-breathing dragon mode.

Here is what Joanna Powell Colbert says of this card:

A fire performer spits billowing flames out of his mouth. Twisted faces of gargoyles or maddened creatures form in the smoke and fire.

Divinatory meaning: Anger, rage, fury. Hubris. A dangerous game. The temptation to dominate or have power over others.

Someone is trying to dominate another. And it is making me FURIOUS. You see, Continue reading “Tick…Tick…BOOM!”

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Spitting, Peeves & Retrogrades

Okay. I know this card right now. I have been feeling this energy for the better part of a week. I’m totally blaming it on Mercury Retrograde too. Just so you know. I blame a lot on Merc Rx. Mercury is my rising sign’s ruler. I get all combustible during this time. Or rather, the entire world turns stupid on me. So when I pulled today’s card I was not surprised. This card makes me think of my own inclination to burn bridges out before I ever reach them. In my past, I’ve had a well-earned reputation on the internet of being a …

Okay. I know this card right now. I have been feeling this energy for the better part of a week. I’m totally blaming it on Mercury Retrograde too. Just so you know. I blame a lot on Merc Rx. Mercury is my rising sign’s ruler. I get all combustible during this time. Or rather, the entire world turns stupid on me. So when I pulled today’s card I was Continue reading “Spitting, Peeves & Retrogrades”

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Five Five Everywhere A Five

Shakespearian Tarot
Name that tune!

Fives! Why do I keep pulling fives? Not just of one suit either? See there is a blog I enjoy that does a “Pick A Card For The Week”. Tarot Table Talk by Susan Gold posts 6 cards each week and asks you the reader to pick one based on the look of the card. For the past two weeks I’ve picked Fives.

And not on purpose. Fives numerologically can be Continue reading “Five Five Everywhere A Five”

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Five Five Everywhere A Five

Shakespearian Tarot
Name that tune!

Fives! Why do I keep pulling fives? Not just of one suit either? See there is a blog I enjoy that does a “Pick A Card For The Week”. Tarot Table Talk by Susan Gold posts 6 cards each week and asks you the reader to pick one based on the look of the card. For the past two weeks I’ve picked Fives.

And not on purpose. Fives numerologically can be Continue reading “Five Five Everywhere A Five”

Thanks for following and liking me!