Today’s card reminds me to enfold myself in my own wings. The knowledge that I must be my own best friend (even though I am blessed with truly the best ever best friend) keeps me whole. When I don’t depend on others to uplift me, I am able to be truly grateful to those who do. Those who don’t? I allow them to fall away gently.
You see, I used to spend far too much time trying to be a friend first to others and last to me. By putting myself last, I actually put my friends last.
What?
It’s true. I brought to them a person searching for others to make me whole. I brought to them an incomplete me as if their love might shore me up–build me up–somehow make me more.
Isn’t that an awful burden to have put on them? I’m lucky that so many remain in my life from those years past. I don’t hate those who aren’t still here. I feel sorry for myself sometimes but I also know they made decisions that were best for them at that time.
- Clingy? Check.
- Whiny? Check.
- Needy? Check.
- Desperate for approval? Check.
- Angry if they didn’t have time for me? Check.
- Fearful if I didn’t hear from them immediately? Check.
Reality check. Do I still have those feelings? Absolutely. At times I still do. Then I do a hula hoop check to see what are my feelings to own and what aren’t.
I also pick up the phone to just say hello.
When we become our own comfort zone like this bat encircling these two lovers, then we become whole. And when we become whole, we are the best friends to have–both for ourselves and for others.
Doing the work is hard. I’m told that my positive pounding of Seek Joy, Y’all can be off-putting. Some may find it daunting when they are facing life’s harshest moments. Just know that by choosing joy, you defeat sorrow.
Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.
Lovers, Stolen Child Tarot, Monica Knighton, Limited Edition, 2012. Decks still available.
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crap i’m a clingy whiny friend
Awww, I’m sure you aren’t as bad as you say! 😀
That’s probably the card I needed for today, too. I’ve been writing a story about a friendship I lost and how it has been stopping it from reaching out to other people for fear that I can’t be friend enough to them. Except I couldn’t get to the wisdom of the story, probably because I’m still stuck in the emotions of it. Your post should give my thoughts a new direction.
Tat, thank you. I’m honored that you found a new direction in my words. Hugs.
Great post! I love what you said about seeking joy when others are having a hard time. I do feel sometimes like I should dull my light so others may not feel bad. But that isn’t fair to either of us. I can be a better friend when I’m lifting them up, not being a pity party.
Sarah, I adored your Herbal Floor Wash post today on your blog. And it does feel like we should turn our inner light down sometimes. But it isn’t fair, is it. 😀
I loved this post, Arwen! And you remind me of – Me ; ). I’m a wokr in progress though ha, ha. Thank you for the great reminder. Big hugs, Karina
Hi Karina! Thanks for stopping by. 😀 We are all in progress. It’s a very good thing.
Wonderful post. I’m sure we are all whinny at times. 🙂
I’m never whiny. Nevvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrr. 😀