Recently I was told that it is necessary to grieve. The thought was that if you don’t grieve, you can not move through the sadness to reach the other side.
Those of you who follow this blog know that my life got turned upside down by a goose. Yes. A webby-footed, long-necked, silly goose that I named Josephine. She had an elegant air about her that demanded an suitable name. She was not to be a Lucy or a Sue or even a Miranda. She needed something more definitive so Josephine it was. (Even though that rapidly deteriorated into JoJoGoose in moments of goosey antics in the tub.)
She waddled into my life two weeks ago yesterday. She waddled out of it yesterday. After two weeks of struggling to figure out how to keep her (geese make great house pets), I realized I needed to allow her to go live with my friends in east Texas. So I enlisted the aid of Romeo who gallantly drove us the two and half hours east where we met Jacqueline who drove two and half hours west. She was elated to make the acquaintance of Miss Josephine Goose. Her partner, Dude, has had a pet duck for seven years.
I won’t go into the details of car travel with a loose goose, but suffice it to say, Jacqueline’s dog pen in the back of her SUV was a MUCH better idea. 😐 Her Twitter account will remain active, I hope.
From what I got in a text message, Miss Josephine and Mr. Arnold seemed to be muddling along (or is that puddling) very well so far. They had a good dinner and a swim in the pond.
While I was really happy for Josephine, I was sadder for myself than I expected. I spent a few hours at a pool party but left earlier than the others. I was very tired from staying up the night before but getting up early so we could make that trip out and back. Add to that the relinquishing of someone that I loved. I got home where I just fell apart. I mean snotty, sobbing wails like a child who’d lost their teddy bear.
Not a pretty sight.
But I didn’t stop myself from the grief. I just made sure I was in a safe environment (my friends are lovely people, but I am not sure they *get* how deeply I feel about things sometimes) and just let myself go. I accidentally called on trusted friend during this, but she’s a bird person/animal lover so she truly gets me. It’s hard to find people who don’t think you are slightly silly to grieve so hard over an animal that is 1)just a goose and 2)an itinerant being in your life.
I’m fortunate to have friends who do get me. One reminded me that Josephine was here to teach me something. So I thought I’d pull a card to see what that was.
Using the Gaian Tarot, I pulled the Ace of Earth.
This is a lovely, endearing card from Joanna Powell Colbert’s deck. A fawn rests in the shade and sunlight. Its ears are huge. They take in every little sound as the fawn examines its surroundings. In the front of the card, a fern (a fiddler if I remember correctly) is unfurling. This card is soft.
I used to go for long walks in the piney woods of north Louisiana. It is there that I learned that Nature is very real as a sentient being. I talked to trees. I got answers. I studied the path of bugs and birds. I learned how to move quietly through the forest. Throughout my life, I’ve been rewarded time and time again for my patient waiting. I’ve seen a black-footed ferret in the wild (might have been a sable). I’ve been close enough to birds to salt their tails (never had salt handy.) I’ve tracked a hummingbird back to her nest. I’ve learned and grown from that relationship.
This card tells me that Josephine was here to teach me to go back to that stillness. That dedicated quietude which brought me such amazing moments. This is the card of opportunity and growth in community. I believe it is a signpost towards a different type of community for me. I need to seek those who love nature on a deep, abiding level. I need to find those who understand what it is to be quiet and to observe.
So while the rescue of Josephine has brought her into and out of my life all too soon, I am grateful for the lessons she brought to me. I know that I am now a champion of doing the right thing for waterfowl. I can’t save all the dumped domestics, but I can educate people on proper food/where to get that. Maybe I can make a difference in more than one goose’s life. It’s small payback for the difference she made in mine.
Who or what has made that kind of difference in your life? Maybe they only touched you for a moment, but that touch lasted for a lifetime.