I’m involved in an online community. I know. I hear the gasps of surprise and shock now. snort
This one is for those who have Joanna Powell Colbert’s Gaian Tarot. (There are copies left if you want to join us.) We have spent four weeks studying the Seeker and have just completed the first round on the Magician. One question that arose from the Seeker study was this:
“What threshold am I standing on?”
I’ve been wanting to dive into this question but have not made time. Now that I have time, I keep stopping to think about what a threshold is to me. It’s not just that part of the door you step over. It’s a huge piece of the hero’s journey. That is the point of no return. Once he or she has crossed that threshold, the only way is forward. What is behind will never be the same. It’s a magnificently terrifying moment in a really good story. It’s Luke Skywalker getting in the Millenium Falcon and leaving his home planet. It’s Dorothy and the Yellow Brick Road. It’s Shrek and the search for Princess Fiona. It’s a big deal and nothing will be the same again.
So was I really ready to see this card? This answer to, in my mind, an irrevocable movement?
My answer was the Elder of Water. Interesting because he was also the card for this week for Pisces (my sun sign). I see him pulling for the far shore. He’s fully in charge of his watery journey even though his back is to his destination. It is as though he is so sure of where he’s going that he doesn’t even need to turn around. In this week’s Tarotscope, I said, “Pic ElderWater Pull for the far shore. Sunsets need to be watched to be enjoyed. Old emotional paths can be changed if you pull hard.”
My key word in that was “pull” in that sometimes you can’t be pushed but you can pull yourself. No, that really doesn’t even make sense to me. I keep getting flashes of the Pushme/Pullyou of Dr. Doolittle fame. So am I pushing myself when I should be pulling? I like the idea of being able to change old emotional paths. I am pretty sure I know what that is about.
I have a victim mentality.
There. I said it in the vulgar outloud. I’ve copped to it. I’ve owned up. I’ve made it mine.
But have I made it too much mine? When I worry about things I’m told about something I thought resolved, I am being a victim. Why? Because that is not my responsibility. That is not my fault but I make it my fault. I instantly want to fine-tooth every conversation or interaction to see what I did to cause this relapse.
Then I realize that I need to pull for the far shore. Move my emotions out of this quagmire. Put myself in different part of the water from those that keep swimming in the yucky parts.
So my threshold moment is this…pulling away from the bad emotional self and moving towards the good one.
JPC’s book says, “I seek out the wild and magical places that fill my heart with gratitude.” And I am reminded to find my sacred space again. My threshold moment is to refind/rekindle the sacred connection with Mama Gaia.
An interesting threshold because, for me, this is a bit of a step backwards in terms of my spirituality. Or is it? If I have moved so far from it, is it really backwards or is it a step toward it again?
What threshold are you standing on?