Do You Awfulize?

RainbowTraveller_8SwordsToday’s card reminds me that sometimes I have to let go of my sword. That’s a bit scary when you are used to protecting yourself for whatever reason. And, I think, the majority of us have very good reasons for wielding our swords. We have years and years of experiences that have taught us to have it at the ready.

But in this Eight of Swords from Carmen Waterman’s Rainbow Travellers Tarot, we see a woman lost in a snowstorm. Let’s say that’s a metaphor for being unable to see something clearly. She’s been carrying a torch and a sword. The torch is to see her way. The sword is to protect herself.

She’s dropped the sword in my story. She’s had to let go of it so she can focus on seeing what needs to be seen. Perhaps she realizes that she needs to get real about getting out of the snowstorm. Maybe it’s become more important to her to move forward than to stand there waiting to defend herself.

My darling honey asked me last week if I thought I tended to “awfulize.” He works in a field where he reads a lot of books on a lot of things. This was in one of his books. The idea is that you dread something so much, that you build up tension in your body which manifests as pain.

I had to admit that I do. (He does as well but he was more than willing to say that. 😀 )

Do you?

Do you build up in your head the very worst scenario possible? Cast the other players as villains or enemies of your state? Do you run through conversations in your head where you fight with them or argue your point that you know they will hate?

Then get there to find out how wrong you were? Or that you didn’t prepare for the right thing?

What if we approached 90% of events as just events? Not opportunities for failure, defeat, embarrassment. How different would life be?

If I, as a tech support person, didn’t assume that everyone was out to get something for nothing or that everyone wasn’t pissed off at me personally, how much less stressful would my job be?

If I, as a person who needs tech support, didn’t assume everyone was out to rip me off or that everyone saw me as too stupid to live, how much less stressful would my support call be?

Your journal prompt for today is, “What do I tend to awfulize the most?”

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

Eight of Swords, Rainbow Travellers Tarot, Carmen Waterman

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1 thought on “Do You Awfulize?”

  1. Ha ha, I have to admit, I can’t imagine what it would be like not to awfulize! I have had so many conversations, or email exchanges, in my head that sometimes I forget they haven’t actually happened. Interesting question, though: where do I do this most? Probably in situations where I feel guilty about something I think I should have done or resentful of something someone else has or hasn’t done. Either way, it’s all about those old tapes about what ‘should’ happen…

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