What Perpelexes Me Is This

Rumi_5CupsToday’s card was a challenge for me because I wasn’t sure I wanted to deal with the subject. Sometimes I have a thought in my head so I draw a card for that thought. Other times I wake up “tabula rasa”. This morning was definitely a blank slate morning. 😀

So here is the card I drew from the Rumi Tarot. The Five of Cups with the sad and isolated figure. His head is down. His hands are open but he’s not looking for anyone to give him anything. He seems to have lost hope. Or maybe he’s just lost his emotional way.

The quote is “Perplexity in the heart is like war.” I had to look up the rest of the piece so I could understand why this phrase was put with this card. Traditionally the 5 of Cups means being over-focused on lost connections while not seeing the ones you still have.

“The perplexity in the heart is like war:
when a man is perplexed he says,
“I wonder whether this is better for my situation, or that.”
In perplexity the fear of failure and the hope of success
always are in conflict with each other, advancing, retreating.” —Rumi

Okay. That works for this card quite well. Seeming to be stuck at the point of an emotional decision. Stay or go.

For me, that is something I can honestly say I run into a lot in my joy seeking. I get into situations that are so aggravating, so crazy-making, so ARRRGH that I just want to stay there until they are FIXED, DAMMIT.

Um, Arwen? Maybe the thing that is keeping them aggravating and crazy-making and ARRRGH is you? I mean…if you are the one common denominator?

Ouch.

But yes, a key tool in joy seeking is owning my shit. I must be responsible for my actions. I cannot blame D for hurting me if I know that is D’s way. I cannot blame S for not paying me back if I know that’s S’s way.

It’s like blaming the wasp for stinging me. It’s what it does.

So my take away for myself is this.

How much I contribute to those unjoyful moments is in direct correlation to the perplexity of my heart.

Clarity comes when I own my own shit. Because then the only person to celebrate with or blame is the person I see in the mirror. I need to allow and understand that not all are joy seekers and not all are shit stirrers. Many of us are a mix of both, right? I try to limit my shit stirring (grin) but I also MUST own it when I do it.

Your 180 second challenge today is to focus on a situation/person that is really chapping your ass. Find three ways you are adding to that situation. Find three ways you can change how you add to that situation (up to and including removing yourself from that situation, yes?!)

5 of Cups, Rumi Tarot, Llewellyn, 2009 [aff]

Seek joy, y’all. Pass it on.

P. to the S. Here’s a course that really opened up my own creativity. I never thought I could create art before! It starts 8/1. Come take it with me [aff]! Yes, I’m doing a refresher/reawakener. 😀

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